Thursday, March 30, 2006
No agenda rant. You have been warned.
This is possibly the first blog I've written without any noted agenda. It's pure heartpour. While I'm sure that I'll reach some sort of conclusion by the end of it, I start it with none.
Let's summarise a bit. It's the first day for a long while without an sms by GoMD. I'll leave you to figure out the abbreviation (i don't even know why I'm using one). I imagine it's going to be the first of many, as I wait out a situation that might not even have an ending. I bumped into her this morning, and we chatted, but my phone's been pretty silent the whole day, and I miss the wonderful tos and fros of a good SMS conversation. Yes, many of you probably don't have a clue what this is about, but I don't really care at this point. This is my message in a bottle - the reason I started this blog in the first place.
For reasons unexplained, I sit at home with hope in my hand. If she's reading this, then that hope is still there. I'm not one who easily falls in love (I think my ex's can attest to that). But when I do (two previous times in my life that I can clearly remember), it's usually with someone who can't do anything about it (lesbian, taken).
But for some reason, each time when I do, I always feel that there's a chance. That hope usually doesn't die until the love for that person finally fades away (three years or more). Again now, I'm in the same situation. Feeling so close, yet so damn far. And once again, the hope is there, refusing to die despite the odds.
Maybe you're wondering when I'm going to learn my lesson and stop hurting myself. To that, I reply that hope is the most beautiful illogical thing ever created by man. A person who doesn't hope is one who doesn't truly feel alive. Ah... maybe now I've latched onto a subject.
Hmmmm...
Nah, still aimless. MAybe I'll come back to this later. Can't think of any witty conclusions for this one. I miss you.
Let's summarise a bit. It's the first day for a long while without an sms by GoMD. I'll leave you to figure out the abbreviation (i don't even know why I'm using one). I imagine it's going to be the first of many, as I wait out a situation that might not even have an ending. I bumped into her this morning, and we chatted, but my phone's been pretty silent the whole day, and I miss the wonderful tos and fros of a good SMS conversation. Yes, many of you probably don't have a clue what this is about, but I don't really care at this point. This is my message in a bottle - the reason I started this blog in the first place.
For reasons unexplained, I sit at home with hope in my hand. If she's reading this, then that hope is still there. I'm not one who easily falls in love (I think my ex's can attest to that). But when I do (two previous times in my life that I can clearly remember), it's usually with someone who can't do anything about it (lesbian, taken).
But for some reason, each time when I do, I always feel that there's a chance. That hope usually doesn't die until the love for that person finally fades away (three years or more). Again now, I'm in the same situation. Feeling so close, yet so damn far. And once again, the hope is there, refusing to die despite the odds.
Maybe you're wondering when I'm going to learn my lesson and stop hurting myself. To that, I reply that hope is the most beautiful illogical thing ever created by man. A person who doesn't hope is one who doesn't truly feel alive. Ah... maybe now I've latched onto a subject.
Hmmmm...
Nah, still aimless. MAybe I'll come back to this later. Can't think of any witty conclusions for this one. I miss you.
# posted by chak @ 9:35 pm 
