Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Resolution
Today, I was walking my dogs around my neighbourhood. Behind GoMD's house (which is sorta near mine), there's this block of newly built apartment blocks which are quite nice. Thought I'd check it out, going through a backroad that I know that seemed directionally correct to get there.
But as I walk the backroad, I realise that it doesn't really lead me to anything but the squatter area that's always been there. I thought they'd have cleared it away by now. So I turned back with both my dogs, and started to walk home, realising that this was the perfect metaphor of my relationship with GoMD.
I genuinely like GoMD alot. I've written this section a few times and deleted it over, cos any words that I use to describe her have already been taken by cliches. Gorgeous, funny, cute, smart (when she needs to be). And she's got the most amazing shoulders that you just know would be fantastic to rest your chin on after a long day.
Long story short, she's with someone already. Long distance. 10 months or something like that. Me n her have been very close these past few months, while he was away. Now i think I can usually tell the difference between friendship and DLL (Dan lain lain). And from the bits and pieces that I told my closest friends, most thought that this one definitely fell in the latter category. I'd never even dared to hope, but I guess I started to, soon enough.
Ok. So the story really ain't that short. Sorry. But anyway, we've been really going out alot these past few months, this is after I'd already confessed my feelings (she asked). Honestly, I was damned sure on this one, cos it seemed like we got even closer after that.
Anyhows, her LDR drops down, looking to settle down here, and of course, like any real man would do, I haven't seen her since. It's been three weeks. Three weeks of wondering, of waiting, and wanting. And she'd never ever told me a straight out no.
Until today.
I'm crying on the inside. Really, I am. You get to a point that you wonder all that bullshit about whether it pays to be a "nice guy" and all that. You hope that somehow a miracle Hollywood ending will take place and it'll make all the uncertainty and effort worthwhile. You smoke a ciggarette. You listen to "Sparks" by Coldplay.
And you stop typing, because you really don't feel like saying much else.
But as I walk the backroad, I realise that it doesn't really lead me to anything but the squatter area that's always been there. I thought they'd have cleared it away by now. So I turned back with both my dogs, and started to walk home, realising that this was the perfect metaphor of my relationship with GoMD.
I genuinely like GoMD alot. I've written this section a few times and deleted it over, cos any words that I use to describe her have already been taken by cliches. Gorgeous, funny, cute, smart (when she needs to be). And she's got the most amazing shoulders that you just know would be fantastic to rest your chin on after a long day.
Long story short, she's with someone already. Long distance. 10 months or something like that. Me n her have been very close these past few months, while he was away. Now i think I can usually tell the difference between friendship and DLL (Dan lain lain). And from the bits and pieces that I told my closest friends, most thought that this one definitely fell in the latter category. I'd never even dared to hope, but I guess I started to, soon enough.
Ok. So the story really ain't that short. Sorry. But anyway, we've been really going out alot these past few months, this is after I'd already confessed my feelings (she asked). Honestly, I was damned sure on this one, cos it seemed like we got even closer after that.
Anyhows, her LDR drops down, looking to settle down here, and of course, like any real man would do, I haven't seen her since. It's been three weeks. Three weeks of wondering, of waiting, and wanting. And she'd never ever told me a straight out no.
Until today.
I'm crying on the inside. Really, I am. You get to a point that you wonder all that bullshit about whether it pays to be a "nice guy" and all that. You hope that somehow a miracle Hollywood ending will take place and it'll make all the uncertainty and effort worthwhile. You smoke a ciggarette. You listen to "Sparks" by Coldplay.
And you stop typing, because you really don't feel like saying much else.
# posted by chak @ 11:08 pm 
Comments:
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i guess no words are necessary. chin up! u'd never know when hollywood endings will take place, or rather, how. (that's why, stop watching trailers only k. heh) *hugsssss*
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