Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Good night and Good luck
Music of the day
------------------------------------
Switchfoot - More than Fine, The Beautiful Letdown
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
U2 - All I Want Is You
Superbar - Same Way I Do
Corinne Bailey Rae - whole album (but turned off once I realised that I wasn't going to be making out)
------------------------------------
Today, was possibly the last time that GoMD will sit in my car. She's decided that she's going to Germany, so I've decided that I should probably not think about a girl who's going away to a faraway country (possibly forever).
Actually, all this happened four days ago, and we've met up 4 times since. It's a long story, which I will attempt to get into now, since
A. blogging seems to be a good emotional outlet and
B. Now that everything's out in the open, there's no need for me to hide anything.
(sidenote: if you're reading this, I thank you for your patience since I haven't posted anything since Japan Day One (the rest of the days are coming soon, promise!))
In case you're new to the blog, and just because I feel like saying it, GoMD stands for Girl of My Dreams. I gave her that name ever since the first time I actually did dream about her. While it escapes me now what that original dream was about, it's only because I've had so many that it's hard to keep track. Needless to say, I'm unhealthily in love with this girl. Want more background? check out my archives. Yea, it's unhealthy.
Anyways, last week on Friday, I came to the conclusion that the way things were going (me hanging out with her almost every day), things were going to end badly. So I took the move to say to her that it was time for me to move on. In perfect honesty, this move was half a genuine need to stop running up a wall (as fun as it is), and the other half a vain attempt to make her realise that she needed me as well.
For a while, the latter half seemed to be working.
Anyhow, the next day, I'm at the STUFF anniversary party. STUFF is a magazine which I used to be the editor of, so in a way, going there is like going to the marriage of an ex-wife. I just want to see how she's doing, and laugh at her poor excuse of a replacement for mua.
Yea, I hear ya... get to the fuckin point.
I'm there for two reasons. One is because I kinda miss GoMD, and the other is because this really cute girl is gonna be there. For now, let's call her Stereogirl (like the NSP song). Anyhow, I find Stereogirl and end up having a pretty good time chatting to her (while incidentally winning an MP3 player from a cheerleading contest... but that's another story).
Stereogirl is dressed in an unflattering oversized polo shirt (cos she's actually working for a radio station which has a part in the party), so she elects to go home early. Meanwhile I'm hanging with my ex-colleagues, which includes GoMD. Unfortunately, the older new me (hah) isn't really much of a party animal anymore so I elect to join a bunch of hungry ex-colleagues out to supper. GoMD stays behind to party.
Anyways, long story short (yea, i'm getting to the point you ADD MTV generation person), GoMD wants a lift back later, cos she's too high to drive. As I'm taking her home, we decide to get a drink from 7-11 and hang out for a while. To be honest both ways, I think we both kinda missed each other.
We end up on a hill, until the disappointing KL sunrise (fully justifies my waking up late here), with her asleep in my arms on my car hood. Yup, it's a damn romantic situation, coupled with the feeling that this is the last night for me and her. Sunday morning, I send her back, promising myself that this was the end, and that I'd message Stereogirl as soon as i woke up in the afternoon.
So i did, and she replies almost immediately, ensuing a quick succession of numerous SMS exchanges that ends in her calling me. The following excerpt is towards the end of that conversation.
(laughing about something or other)
Me: Hey, you got an accent. Where's that from?
Stereogirl: I just came back from overseas...
Me: Really? where?
SG: I was studying in Australia for a while then I went to Germany for a holiday.
(at this point, I totally skimmed the fact that this was the country that I'd be losing GoMD to)
Me: Oh really? How long for?
SG: 5 months
Me: 5 months in Germany? I can't imagine. I heard it's boring. (at this point, I'm getting a bit bitchy, to be honest)
SG: Yea, my boyfriend is there.
Me: ....
After a brief pause, I take it into my stride, continue the conversation for a bit and politely say my goodbyes.
What are the fucking chances? I mean seriously. Does Germany outsource their cuddlebunny jobs to Malaysia? fark.
To compound this, later when I'm having dinner with my parents at a restaurant in Subang called Las Carretas, the table we're shown (that my mum reserved via phone) is smack under a sign that is shown below, for your ironic entertainment.
At moments like this, you'd imagine that God is the best sitcom director ever.
Anyhows, on the Monday after, I get a message from GoMD saying that she's got some stuff to get off her chest. I'm busy recording a song with my band on that night, so I arrange to meet her the next night.
Which brings us to earlier tonite.
We basically went to a quiet park and talked about the whole situation. While the conversation starts casual, I bring up the topic rather suddenly since I'm fast losing patience with the situation. GoMD was quite honest with her feelings, although sometimes vague about how she felt about me. Whether that's out of sympathy to me or some other reason is something i'm trying not to think about as i type this. Anyways, I've kinda made up my mind not to see her anymore, so after talking about the kinda thing you would talk about in a situation like this, we take a long solemn ride back to her place. She leaves the car with hardly a word, hug or kiss, although I have the feeling that perhaps that's for the best.
We part ways, and I head over to Cuddlebuddy's house. (CuB is a close friend of mine that I've previously had a fling with. Because of this, we've gotten the whole sexual thing out of the way, and can thus be pretty darned honest about most things.)
She consoles me as only she can (yes, it's CuB, not FuB so don't get the wrong idea), complete with my cynicism dumping ("nice guys finish last", "I think I'm gonna be a slut from now on"). It's really tough not to be a cynic at times like this, but I guess that's human nature. Another thing about human nature is our tendency to want things that are getting away from us. This has everything to do with the sad state of affairs, but that's a topic for another day.
Anyhows, it works, and I'm glad I went to CuB's house instead of one of my mates. Sometimes, you just need a woman's touch. I head home with perhaps my first step towards feeling a sense of release rather than a sense of waste and sadness. I think the two beers helped too.
And yet, I miss her. I tell myself that I'll get over it eventually, but I wish I had Adam Sandler's remote control to fast forward to that moment right now.
Right now, life sucks and I have to wake up in 5 hours for work. Sigh.
Thanks for listening.
------------------------------------
Switchfoot - More than Fine, The Beautiful Letdown
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
U2 - All I Want Is You
Superbar - Same Way I Do
Corinne Bailey Rae - whole album (but turned off once I realised that I wasn't going to be making out)
------------------------------------
Today, was possibly the last time that GoMD will sit in my car. She's decided that she's going to Germany, so I've decided that I should probably not think about a girl who's going away to a faraway country (possibly forever).
Actually, all this happened four days ago, and we've met up 4 times since. It's a long story, which I will attempt to get into now, since
A. blogging seems to be a good emotional outlet and
B. Now that everything's out in the open, there's no need for me to hide anything.
(sidenote: if you're reading this, I thank you for your patience since I haven't posted anything since Japan Day One (the rest of the days are coming soon, promise!))
In case you're new to the blog, and just because I feel like saying it, GoMD stands for Girl of My Dreams. I gave her that name ever since the first time I actually did dream about her. While it escapes me now what that original dream was about, it's only because I've had so many that it's hard to keep track. Needless to say, I'm unhealthily in love with this girl. Want more background? check out my archives. Yea, it's unhealthy.
Anyways, last week on Friday, I came to the conclusion that the way things were going (me hanging out with her almost every day), things were going to end badly. So I took the move to say to her that it was time for me to move on. In perfect honesty, this move was half a genuine need to stop running up a wall (as fun as it is), and the other half a vain attempt to make her realise that she needed me as well.
For a while, the latter half seemed to be working.
Anyhow, the next day, I'm at the STUFF anniversary party. STUFF is a magazine which I used to be the editor of, so in a way, going there is like going to the marriage of an ex-wife. I just want to see how she's doing, and laugh at her poor excuse of a replacement for mua.
Yea, I hear ya... get to the fuckin point.
I'm there for two reasons. One is because I kinda miss GoMD, and the other is because this really cute girl is gonna be there. For now, let's call her Stereogirl (like the NSP song). Anyhow, I find Stereogirl and end up having a pretty good time chatting to her (while incidentally winning an MP3 player from a cheerleading contest... but that's another story).
Stereogirl is dressed in an unflattering oversized polo shirt (cos she's actually working for a radio station which has a part in the party), so she elects to go home early. Meanwhile I'm hanging with my ex-colleagues, which includes GoMD. Unfortunately, the older new me (hah) isn't really much of a party animal anymore so I elect to join a bunch of hungry ex-colleagues out to supper. GoMD stays behind to party.
Anyways, long story short (yea, i'm getting to the point you ADD MTV generation person), GoMD wants a lift back later, cos she's too high to drive. As I'm taking her home, we decide to get a drink from 7-11 and hang out for a while. To be honest both ways, I think we both kinda missed each other.
We end up on a hill, until the disappointing KL sunrise (fully justifies my waking up late here), with her asleep in my arms on my car hood. Yup, it's a damn romantic situation, coupled with the feeling that this is the last night for me and her. Sunday morning, I send her back, promising myself that this was the end, and that I'd message Stereogirl as soon as i woke up in the afternoon.
So i did, and she replies almost immediately, ensuing a quick succession of numerous SMS exchanges that ends in her calling me. The following excerpt is towards the end of that conversation.
(laughing about something or other)
Me: Hey, you got an accent. Where's that from?
Stereogirl: I just came back from overseas...
Me: Really? where?
SG: I was studying in Australia for a while then I went to Germany for a holiday.
(at this point, I totally skimmed the fact that this was the country that I'd be losing GoMD to)
Me: Oh really? How long for?
SG: 5 months
Me: 5 months in Germany? I can't imagine. I heard it's boring. (at this point, I'm getting a bit bitchy, to be honest)
SG: Yea, my boyfriend is there.
Me: ....
After a brief pause, I take it into my stride, continue the conversation for a bit and politely say my goodbyes.
What are the fucking chances? I mean seriously. Does Germany outsource their cuddlebunny jobs to Malaysia? fark.
To compound this, later when I'm having dinner with my parents at a restaurant in Subang called Las Carretas, the table we're shown (that my mum reserved via phone) is smack under a sign that is shown below, for your ironic entertainment.
At moments like this, you'd imagine that God is the best sitcom director ever.
Anyhows, on the Monday after, I get a message from GoMD saying that she's got some stuff to get off her chest. I'm busy recording a song with my band on that night, so I arrange to meet her the next night.
Which brings us to earlier tonite.
We basically went to a quiet park and talked about the whole situation. While the conversation starts casual, I bring up the topic rather suddenly since I'm fast losing patience with the situation. GoMD was quite honest with her feelings, although sometimes vague about how she felt about me. Whether that's out of sympathy to me or some other reason is something i'm trying not to think about as i type this. Anyways, I've kinda made up my mind not to see her anymore, so after talking about the kinda thing you would talk about in a situation like this, we take a long solemn ride back to her place. She leaves the car with hardly a word, hug or kiss, although I have the feeling that perhaps that's for the best.
We part ways, and I head over to Cuddlebuddy's house. (CuB is a close friend of mine that I've previously had a fling with. Because of this, we've gotten the whole sexual thing out of the way, and can thus be pretty darned honest about most things.)
She consoles me as only she can (yes, it's CuB, not FuB so don't get the wrong idea), complete with my cynicism dumping ("nice guys finish last", "I think I'm gonna be a slut from now on"). It's really tough not to be a cynic at times like this, but I guess that's human nature. Another thing about human nature is our tendency to want things that are getting away from us. This has everything to do with the sad state of affairs, but that's a topic for another day.
Anyhows, it works, and I'm glad I went to CuB's house instead of one of my mates. Sometimes, you just need a woman's touch. I head home with perhaps my first step towards feeling a sense of release rather than a sense of waste and sadness. I think the two beers helped too.
And yet, I miss her. I tell myself that I'll get over it eventually, but I wish I had Adam Sandler's remote control to fast forward to that moment right now.
Right now, life sucks and I have to wake up in 5 hours for work. Sigh.
Thanks for listening.
