My rant to no one

 

First, a disclaimer.

Characters in this text are a work of fiction, every resemblance with real life characters in any media or rave party is pure coincidence. No real drugs were consumed in the writing of this blog.

I have this friend. Ever since I knew him back in Secondary school, we've been getting into all sorts of trouble. Like the time we got our school bags stolen at the arcade (by the coin changer, no less). Throughout all this time, I get really spaced out talking to him, cos it's always such a surreal experience.

I suppose in a way, it was natural for him to gravitate towards more surreal experiences, thus his love of mind-altering chemicals. It's not that he takes alot of it (although, by no means is he below-average, per se), but just that he gets higher than most people.

So anyway, at the Global Gathering in Melaka about a month back, Me and my friend (let's call him Mr. Woodstock for now)took some stuff. After about a half hour, i started noticing he was losing himself, so I offered to go get him some water.

I was gone five minutes and when I came back with two bottles of (RM10!) water, I passed a bottle to him and he looked at me with a blank, somewhat concerned expression and said,

"How long were you gone, man?"

"WTF dude, I was gone like 5 minutes, tops"

"No way man... it was like an eterniiity..."

At that moment, he gets an SMS from some of our other friends layaning some other DJ nearby.

"Eh, [CENSORED] just messaged la... they said they at Godskitchen. I go join them!"

"How you gonna get there?" I asked. Yes, I was a bit out as well.

"I FLyyyYYyyyyy!!", Mr Woodstock enthusiastically replied, followed by 10 seconds of hyper-hyper dancing, and tripping and falling to the ground, spilling most of the water i just bought for him.

 

At this point, I realised that capturing what he said throughout the night would be FUCKIN hilarious later. I started writing everything he said into notes on my phone, so here are a few choice ones in no particular order.

 

• "Chak, you are an alien right?"
• "Where are we? *pause a minute or two* Are we at Woodstock?"
• "I'm really disoriented. I wanna see Jesus"
• "I have entered the fifth dimension! I'm on a mission but i don't know what mission..."
• "I'm on a spaceship. Alien no need visa right?"

 

Of course, a few weeks after that, he bumped into my friend at Zouk. this was her experience. (Real names have been removed to protect the identities of those involved incase their parents or spouses read this blog.)

 

[Mr. Woodstock] msged me what time are we going to Zouk *after dinner at DJ*, so yeah, i told him we're leaving soon. And he replied "Cool beans. Sms me, I meet you outside" Ok cool...
...at Zouk after meeting up and stuffs and he proceeded back to Loft to party with his friends...Oh at this point he look pretty high ady with the face blushing red..

Moments later... He msged "Would you still be able to get my male totally hetero friend in to the main room still? Its ok if u can't, no worries. Almos dun drink here aka cool here ba ba ali baba black sheep and mint sauce"

*scratches head at this point*

Nvm... I told him yeah no problem and he replied "Ok, i sms you when i annex emo down the stairs" HUH??!!! He also msg me "I will join you guys soon on the space ups" K...i went out to meet him and he wasn't walking right or even standing right. Brought him to Velvet, coz i meet a friend who's drunk and wants us to drink with him. He gave us a bottle to drink from it. *Black Label* [Mr. Woodstock] without any hesitation down it few seconds. And then to mainroom....

Party party party... [Mr. Woodstock] started talking things we can't hear or decipher. But we caught two lines. First would be "Where is my anthem ar?" *Its Global Anthem night but what anthem was he referring to? I dunno*
Second line is "Eh, are they going to play Sandstorm?"
...[Mr. Woodstock] walks around in circles around the club on his own. And we were actually surprised that his male instinct told him to stay away from this potential GAY Ang moh who was like dancing and hugging ppl around. [Mr. Woodstock] actually walked away from that AM and sat the other part of the club and watch us blankly.
We left the club early...and we were berlepaking outside. And i got another msg from [Mr. Woodstock]. This time..i'm lost for words.

"Hey rosy sorry elstnyest fantes flower i juryt leakyadedu bettbeat i l8trt l8trt just left going home know how u guys party hard and partx reed safe going to genting Ooo now to est luck with wish new me luck happy bday bro good luck go in yr future undertigmi under takings go easy on the stuff fringog frolini drink and drive now not cool but its ok if u lard have a good poker able babebabe baba face stufcews steady only jail lah. No worries if u play cool and just billi chill out and eat rode some lok lok err esp the arab crab sticks can go to jalan ipoh for dim sum and eat the chicken legs pockets snakes soak in rice wine and biblen chicken porridge with beef ball and 100 pluts for drink of chicken legs soak in rice wine and caviaseedededf"

Ok...i feel damn high typing that too now....

 

Kids, say no to drugs.