My rant to no one

Jared Lim ripped me off on Honda parts on ebay

2010-08-11T19:55:00.001+08:00

Please do not buy from him.

Earlier this year, I ordered about US$1000 worth of Honda parts from Jared (http://myworld.ebay.com/jaredlim/). Since it was a bulk order and many of the items weren’t available in his store, he asked for a simple PayPal transfer, not through ebay. I agreed to my eternal regret.

He took 3 months to send the first order, which was missing about US$200 worth of additional parts, and after promising to send the 2nd batch, he has disappeared entirely, not replying my emails at all.

Apparently after checking his profile, I found quite a few customers with similar complaints. While not a conman per se, he didn’t complete my order and he could do the same to you. I can’t even leave feedback cos i didn’t go through ebay, which probably explains his still decent seller rating. Treat this as a big minus.

STAY AWAY.

Here’s the email history in case you’re interested (please read from bottom to top).

Just FYI,
I have just lodged a complaint about your account on PayPal. Will proceed to
lodge another on ebay if you do not respond within next 2 days.
Chak

-------------------------------

Ok dude,
I'm honestly quite tired of playing the nice customer.
Give me a reasonable date to expect the rest of my shipment, and stick to it, or I will use all available channels to lodge my complaints about your serious ridiculous level of service. It has been more than 4 months since I initially placed my order. If not for the first shipment, I would have lodged a police report by now.
I expect a reply within two days. If not, then you should know what to expect.
Chak

------------------------

Please make it quick. Also, if there is a delay you should keep your
customers in
the loop and not just expect them to keep following up with you for a
response...
chak

-----------

i am so sorry man, the del sol floor mat is out of order, we have to
wait fort he shipment to come in that why causing the delay, i called
honda yesterday, they will have the shipment in sometime next week, as
soon as i got it i will express it at no cost
On 5/8/10, chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
> Dude,
>
> It's been 3 months since my original order. This is not cool. I'm finding it
> difficult to recommend you based on this.
>
> chak
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
> Sent: Friday, April 23, 2010 5:02 PM
> To: "chak" <chak@foldees.com>
> Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL ROOF TOP HANDLE
> LOCK LH
>
>> ok, i will have to order it, i will make sure i will send it first
>> thing next tuesday
>>
>> On 4/19/10, chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>> The ashtray cover? Aside from that I'm fine. Faster dude. It's been
>>> foreverrrr
>>>
>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>> From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>> Sent: Monday, April 19, 2010 5:46 PM
>>> To: "chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>> Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL ROOF TOP
>>> HANDLE
>>> LOCK LH
>>>
>>>> ok, i guess, i will have to reorder those and resend it, do u still
>>>> need anything else??
>>>>
>>>> On 4/15/10, chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>>>> nope. Still nothing man. What happened to the shipment?
>>>>>
>>>>> so just to verify, still owing is
>>>>>
>>>>> 85835-SR2-003 Weatherstrip, RR, Windshield (Outer)
>>>>> 85141-SR2-033 WEATHERSTRIP, R. ROOF SIDE
>>>>> 08P15-SR2-140 FLOOR MAT
>>>>>
>>>>> Would also appreciate if you can get your hands on the Right-hand drive
>>>>> ashtray as well.
>>>>>
>>>>> Chak
>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 3:32 PM
>>>>> To: "chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>> Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL ROOF TOP
>>>>> HANDLE
>>>>> LOCK LH
>>>>>
>>>>>> i am sorry for the delay man, if you still do not received it within
>>>>>> this week, please let me know, i will resend those, do you still need
>>>>>> anything else?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 4/10/10, chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> Hi Jared, nothing yet. Can you check on this asap please?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>> From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 02, 2010 4:35 PM
>>>>>>> To: "chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL ROOF TOP
>>>>>>> HANDLE
>>>>>>> LOCK LH
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> IT WAS SHIPPED ABOUT 3 DAYS LATER, I WILL CHECK THE TRACKING NUMBER
>>>>>>>> ASAP
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On 3/30/10, chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> Only one so far. Were they sent at the same time?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> You mentioned the floor mats were in the 2nd shipment, but the
>>>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>>>> two
>>>>>>>>> items as well? When can I expect them?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> chak
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>> From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 1:28 PM
>>>>>>>>> To: "chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL ROOF
>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>> HANDLE
>>>>>>>>> LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> THATS FINR, YOU CAN KEEP THOSE PARTS, AS I SAID I SENT 2 PACKAGES
>>>>>>>>>> OUT,
>>>>>>>>>> HOW MANY PACKAGES DID U RECEIVE SO FAR?
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> On 3/27/10, chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>> Hi Jared,
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> I've gone through the consignment and I think you got my order
>>>>>>>>>>> partially
>>>>>>>>>>> mixed with someone else's. I received all the parts except three.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> 85835-SR2-003 Weatherstrip, RR, Windshield (Outer)
>>>>>>>>>>> 85141-SR2-033 WEATHERSTRIP, R. ROOF SIDE
>>>>>>>>>>> 08P15-SR2-140 FLOOR MAT (I know you are sending this seperately,
>>>>>>>>>>> but
>>>>>>>>>>> when?)
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> And instead, I received the following
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> 72160-SR2-A02ZB R Door Handle
>>>>>>>>>>> 71190-S5D-A00 (some panel metal scaffolding bit that I can't
>>>>>>>>>>> identify)
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> I can send these back to you, but you will have to cover the cost
>>>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>>>> postage
>>>>>>>>>>> as it is not my doing.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> Also, is it possible for you to find the right-hand drive ashtray
>>>>>>>>>>> cover
>>>>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>>>>> me?
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>>>> From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, March 15, 2010 1:36 PM
>>>>>>>>>>> To: "Chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>> HANDLE
>>>>>>>>>>> LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> here is your tracking number
>>>>>>>>>>>> sorry for the delay
>>>>>>>>>>>> hipping Status:
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Shipped
>>>>>>>>>>>> Reference Number:
>>>>>>>>>>>> U.S. Postal Service CQ671958967US Learn More
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> On 3/10/10, Chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Ok no worries. What about the roof handle?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   From: jared lim
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   To: Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2010 3:13 AM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>> HANDLE LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   USPS IS PICKING UP THE PARTS TODAY, THERE ARE 2 SHIPMENTS,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> USING
>>>>>>>>>>>>> USPS
>>>>>>>>>>>>> PRIROTY INTERNATIONAL MAIL, THE FLOOR MAT I STILL HAVE TO WAIT
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ON
>>>>>>>>>>>>> IT,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> BUT
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>>> WILL SEND EVERYTHING ELSE TO YOU, AND FOLLOW WITH THE TRACKING
>>>>>>>>>>>>> NUMBER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>   On Fri, Mar 5, 2010 at 11:58 PM, <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     I will send u the tracking first rthing monday morning
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     ------Original Message------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     From: Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     To: meivenebay@gmail.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>> HANDLE LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     Sent: Mar 5, 2010 6:25 AM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     ok... let me know asap
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     From: <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     To: "Chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     Sent: Friday, March 05, 2010 5:04 AM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>> HANDLE
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Chak, everything came in today, I have to check the sheet
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> u
>>>>>>>>>>>>> sent
>>>>>>>>>>>>> me
>>>>>>>>>>>>> see
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > the handles r included
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > ------Original Message------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > From: Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > To: jared lim
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > HANDLE LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Sent: Mar 3, 2010 12:43 AM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Hi Jared,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Just double checking. Your quotation does include the
>>>>>>>>>>>>> original
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Honda
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Del
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Sol
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Roof Top Handle Lock Left-Hand right? Please ensure that
>>>>>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>>>>>> does...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Also, what is the word on shipping?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > From: "jared lim" <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > To: "Chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 4:58 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > HANDLE
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >> door lining is the door panel right?, go
>>>>>>>>>>>>> hondapartscheap.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>>>>> give
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >> me the part number, i can beat the price and get you
>>>>>>>>>>>>> everything
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >> shipped in one cost
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >> On 1/24/10, Chak <chak@foldees.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> Hi any word on this?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   From: meivenebay@gmail.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   To: Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Sent: Thursday, January 21, 2010 7:59 AM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Subject: Re: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA
>>>>>>>>>>>>> DEL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> HANDLE LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Yesn I can get those, way year is ur del sol wat
>>>>>>>>>>>>> color
>>>>>>>>>>>>> interior?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   From: "Chak" <chak@foldees.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Date: Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:26:47 +0800
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   To: <meivenebay@gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Subject: Question about NEW GENUINE 93-97 HONDA DEL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> SOL
>>>>>>>>>>>>> ROOF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> HANDLE
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> LOCK LH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Hi,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Am very interested in the targa handle for Del Sol.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Will
>>>>>>>>>>>>> probably
>>>>>>>>>>>>> get
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> off you, but I'm looking for a few other parts, and was
>>>>>>>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>>>>>>>> wondering
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> if
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> you could source for these and include them in the same
>>>>>>>>>>>>> shipment
>>>>>>>>>>>>> as
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>> well.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Del Sol Ashtray cover
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Del Sol rubber lining (door, roof and windows)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Do let me know soon!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Chak
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   Founder & Fluffy Vision Guy
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   www.foldees.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   - the ongoing greeting card contest -
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   www.facebook.com/foldees
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   www.twitter.com/foldees
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   www.twitter.com/chakfold
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >>>   or check out our ongoing adventures at
>>>>>>>>>>>>> http://foldees.blogspot.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     > Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>     Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>
>>>
>
>

Are we at Woodstock?

2007-11-19T20:53:00.001+08:00

First, a disclaimer.

Characters in this text are a work of fiction, every resemblance with real life characters in any media or rave party is pure coincidence. No real drugs were consumed in the writing of this blog.

I have this friend. Ever since I knew him back in Secondary school, we've been getting into all sorts of trouble. Like the time we got our school bags stolen at the arcade (by the coin changer, no less). Throughout all this time, I get really spaced out talking to him, cos it's always such a surreal experience.

I suppose in a way, it was natural for him to gravitate towards more surreal experiences, thus his love of mind-altering chemicals. It's not that he takes alot of it (although, by no means is he below-average, per se), but just that he gets higher than most people.

So anyway, at the Global Gathering in Melaka about a month back, Me and my friend (let's call him Mr. Woodstock for now)took some stuff. After about a half hour, i started noticing he was losing himself, so I offered to go get him some water.

I was gone five minutes and when I came back with two bottles of (RM10!) water, I passed a bottle to him and he looked at me with a blank, somewhat concerned expression and said,

"How long were you gone, man?"

"WTF dude, I was gone like 5 minutes, tops"

"No way man... it was like an eterniiity..."

At that moment, he gets an SMS from some of our other friends layaning some other DJ nearby.

"Eh, [CENSORED] just messaged la... they said they at Godskitchen. I go join them!"

"How you gonna get there?" I asked. Yes, I was a bit out as well.

"I FLyyyYYyyyyy!!", Mr Woodstock enthusiastically replied, followed by 10 seconds of hyper-hyper dancing, and tripping and falling to the ground, spilling most of the water i just bought for him.

At this point, I realised that capturing what he said throughout the night would be FUCKIN hilarious later. I started writing everything he said into notes on my phone, so here are a few choice ones in no particular order.

"Chak, you are an alien right?"
"Where are we? *pause a minute or two* Are we at Woodstock?"
"I'm really disoriented. I wanna see Jesus"
"I have entered the fifth dimension! I'm on a mission but i don't know what mission..."
"I'm on a spaceship. Alien no need visa right?"

Of course, a few weeks after that, he bumped into my friend at Zouk. this was her experience. (Real names have been removed to protect the identities of those involved incase their parents or spouses read this blog.)

[Mr. Woodstock] msged me what time are we going to Zouk *after dinner at DJ*, so yeah, i told him we're leaving soon. And he replied "Cool beans. Sms me, I meet you outside" Ok cool...
...at Zouk after meeting up and stuffs and he proceeded back to Loft to party with his friends...Oh at this point he look pretty high ady with the face blushing red..

Moments later... He msged "Would you still be able to get my male totally hetero friend in to the main room still? Its ok if u can't, no worries. Almos dun drink here aka cool here ba ba ali baba black sheep and mint sauce"

*scratches head at this point*

Nvm... I told him yeah no problem and he replied "Ok, i sms you when i annex emo down the stairs" HUH??!!! He also msg me "I will join you guys soon on the space ups" K...i went out to meet him and he wasn't walking right or even standing right. Brought him to Velvet, coz i meet a friend who's drunk and wants us to drink with him. He gave us a bottle to drink from it. *Black Label* [Mr. Woodstock] without any hesitation down it few seconds. And then to mainroom....

Party party party... [Mr. Woodstock] started talking things we can't hear or decipher. But we caught two lines. First would be "Where is my anthem ar?" *Its Global Anthem night but what anthem was he referring to? I dunno*
Second line is "Eh, are they going to play Sandstorm?"
...[Mr. Woodstock] walks around in circles around the club on his own. And we were actually surprised that his male instinct told him to stay away from this potential GAY Ang moh who was like dancing and hugging ppl around. [Mr. Woodstock] actually walked away from that AM and sat the other part of the club and watch us blankly.
We left the club early...and we were berlepaking outside. And i got another msg from [Mr. Woodstock]. This time..i'm lost for words.

"Hey rosy sorry elstnyest fantes flower i juryt leakyadedu bettbeat i l8trt l8trt just left going home know how u guys party hard and partx reed safe going to genting Ooo now to est luck with wish new me luck happy bday bro good luck go in yr future undertigmi under takings go easy on the stuff fringog frolini drink and drive now not cool but its ok if u lard have a good poker able babebabe baba face stufcews steady only jail lah. No worries if u play cool and just billi chill out and eat rode some lok lok err esp the arab crab sticks can go to jalan ipoh for dim sum and eat the chicken legs pockets snakes soak in rice wine and biblen chicken porridge with beef ball and 100 pluts for drink of chicken legs soak in rice wine and caviaseedededf"

Ok...i feel damn high typing that too now....

Kids, say no to drugs.

Fraser's still rocks!

2007-10-16T17:16:00.001+08:00

Ok, stop procrastinating and do your damn blog entries!

Sorry, been talking to myself alot lately. Must be a side effect of being self-employed.

Anyways, about a month (or two) ago, I went up to Fraser's with my parents just for a day. It's been years since i took a hol with my parents, and that's part of the reason that i agreed to it. The other part is that I wanted another opportunity to drive my convertible in cold weather. heh.

I have to say, I didn't regret it tho. Frasers is still gorgeous. I had alot of fond childhood memories there, and I am, by nature a sentimental person, so it was a nice relaxing weekend with a tinge of nostalgia.

In fact, I'm thinking of organising another trip up here, with a bunch of friends. Stay and eat in a nice bungalow, bring up some basic entertainment (Xbox, cards, mahjong set for the ladies, booze), and just spend the weekend bonding and doing nothing.

It was the beginning of puasa month up there, so the entire place was deserted. This is the old clock tower in the center of town, with Puncak Inn in the background.

the road down to the infirmary. I remember they had this HUGE frog in a jar. The frog was about 2 feet tall (if my memory serves me right)!

the old clubhouse, where me, Kevin, SK, SH and Alex used to spend RM2 each (budget slowly over two hours) on Superman and Gemini Wings in the arcade. One place i forgot to take a picture of was the old skating rink in the playground. they still rent skates there! but unfortunately it was closed cos of Puasa season i guess. The mini-golf course was still there tho, so I had a round of mini-golf there with my dad with all these little indian kids standing around cheering for us.

Of course i won :)

Bungalow Jerantut - what used to be an ICI bungalow that me and my cousins would go to twice a year, sit by the fireplace and play stupid games. I remember the currypuffs during tea they serve here used to be kickass.

Family picture in our boring old condo. Monkeys stole our steamboat stuff somemore. Wish we had stayed in a nice comfy Tudor bungalow...

...and another picture in a different angle, just to let my dad be creative.

Ye olde smokehouse, our last stop before heading down the next day. Was actually a bit sad. My car does look quite the happening in front tho :)

inside the smoke house. Very bri-ish.

Outside the smokehouse. Isn't this just grand? Would love to come here with someone soon, and just shoot the breeze... mmmm...

An ENORMOUSE and unbelievably tangled tree in the smokehouse garden! It was almost out of a fantasy novel. For reference to size, check out the benches at the bottom.

We got ourselves a nice airy room inside, with windows all around, but unfortunately the tranquility would be ruined every ten minutes or so with a flush cos we were next to the toilet. It was also sorta my birthday lunch, so my parents bought me something i haven't had since i was a kid. And i think the last time i had it was here too. BOMB ALASKA!

Bomb Alaska's actually a big big puffy meringue type pastry with ice cream inside, but then they pour heated XO on top of it just before they serve it. Ice cream, XO, Bomb Alaska... geddit?

Looks like an amoeba.

WahahAHAHAHAAHA... BURN THE AMOEBAAAAA!!!

my sister doesn't seem to share my enthusiasm.

yay!

Anyways, it was a good trip down memory lane, and I'd definitely want to come back again real soon. If you're interested, lemme know!

10 things i learnt in the past 10 days

2007-09-21T00:44:00.001+08:00

1. Going on holiday with your family ain't so bad.

2. Fraser's Hill still rocks, but in a very different way from when you're a kid...(more on this later)

3. Having a convertible is cool (I don't care what you say).

4. I am blessed with some of the best friends in the entire universe of sentient beings.

5. I am in business with the right people (Group HUG EVERY ONE!!! Group HUGGGG!)

6. Some things that appear like cults to you at first, might actually be quite cool. However, when you tell other people about it, you are still in danger of looking like a cultist.

7. I have very few regrets these days.

8. Taichi aunties can restore your faith in humanity, and it's especially apropos if it happens on your birthday.

9. I am a sentimental twat... *sniff*

10. People only do these existential type lists when they are feeling happy happy, or sad sad.

I turned 28 today, and it's been one of the best birthdays I've had in many years. Sometimes, the big man upstairs knows when you need a lil boost, and occasionally, he's kind enough to give it to you. I can honestly tell you that as i was driving back today, having covered almost all the aspects in my busy little life in a short 24 hours, I felt content. Contentment is a very short-lived feeling, but when it comes, you should ride it for all it's worth, and try to think of a way of remembering the way you felt. Thus the post. Now, before I forget...

To-do list

Be more decisive
Learn to appreciate your friends more
Learn to love your parents again
Seek a proper relationship
Wake up earlier
Live healthier (less smokes, more exercise, a little bit less pork fat)

I know it's tough, cynical-Chak of tomorrow morning, but that's why i'm writing this now. Happy birthday, you stupid twat :)

I don't usually do this, but...

2007-08-05T23:12:00.001+08:00

I think this is only the 2nd youtube video i've ever forwarded, but since i know this guy personally, I'll make my 2nd exception.

i played with Zack during a college gig about 6-7 years back, and we did a rocking version of Jingle Bells - yea, juevenile compared to what he's doin now. The guy is bloody amazing.

And the first youtube video i ever forwarded was this one. No, i don't know her, but damn if that isn't the cutest thing i've ever seen.

All business books have bad titles

2007-07-24T22:25:00.001+08:00

On to my second business book now, after the mildly disappointing Freakanomics. This one's actually pretty damn good so far.

At the time that i bought this, i had the strongest urge to buy a Batman comic with this kinokuniya voucher i got from one of my training sessions at the office (back when i was still in my 9-to-5), but decided on a proper business book since i was about the venture out on my own.

But this one caught my eye precisely because it wasn't a "proper business book". Instead of telling you how to succeed, it tells you that the most important thing is to find out what success is to you. It's that age-old adage of "doing what matters to you", but putting it in ways that feel comfortable, and not too far-reaching for normal ex-editors to consume.

I sincerely believe that if everyone in Malaysia (or the world)read this book, it would be a much more pleasant place to be in. It's one of the arguments i have with SK all the time. About not letting money run your life.

The real awakening for me was when i found out how much my uncle (mum's youngest brother) earned. RM4k a month. He lives in Rawang with his wife and two kids, and he's the happiest uncle i have. twice as fun as anyone on my dad's side (refer to previous post).

Heck, i was already earning that, with no one to support but myself.

Another revelation followed a year later when i was talking to my friend J while having a ciggy outside his house in Taman Megah. J's a programmer, so he was telling me about how he was working on a project for a certain Malaysian holdings company and found out how much their CEO makes every month.

"fuck man, it's insane wei... he earns RM150,000 every month!"

"whoah"

"ya man. It's damn nuts wei. Imagine what you could buy with that kinda money"

"yea man"

"...financial independence man, that's what it's all about"

...

"you reckon?"

"yea.."

"You think he's any happier than we are here talking cock and smoking?"

And that's when it reinforced the idea that i will never join the rat-race, or pursue the hopeless quest for material stuff. So for all the ladies who don't dig poverty-stricken, tree-hugging, and extremely charming chubby chinese guys, let me know beforehand, and I'll wear that one ZARA shirt i have that makes me look thinner, on our first date.

Actually, the more i think about it, the more i'm starting to think that my true passion is still writing and entertaining in general. Luckily, it is part of the dotcom business that i'm going into.

Still, i'd like to retire into being a magazine contributor at some point. It's a nice idea that got stuck in my head one rainy afternoon (not while watching sex in the city - guys don't do that), and i always have a pleasant mood when i think about it.

And I do have every issue of every magazine i've ever written in, and damn if i don't get a bit teary-eyed when i look through them now.

god i hope this never happens to me

2007-07-10T00:27:00.001+08:00

That's an email sent out to all of us. yes, all my dad's brothers have emails starting with Lau.

In addition, this is what his phonebook looks like...

LCH.H

LCH.M

LCK.H

LCK.M

LCW.H

LCW.M

LCM1.H

LCM1.M

LCM2.H

LCM2.M

Lemme explain. LCH.M for instance, indicates Lau Chee Hong Mobile. This is silly, because Lau Chee Hong is my dads name, but he stores it like that too -_-

H stands for house, and his brothers first and middle names are the same. LCM1 and LCM2 are twins - Lau Chee Meng and Mun.

Yes, even his own lovely son and wife are reduced to LCO.M and LAY.M.

Not as bummed as i might've thought

2007-06-29T03:25:00.001+08:00

Well, it's been about a week and a half now, and I've gotta say - I don't really feel like i've been bumming at all.

In the past 10 days, I've

...collected 4 cheques and one wad of cash for VOs

...made an album

...been on TV

...made by way through half of Freakonomics over numerous stolen coffees by meself (slightly over-rated - the book, not the coffee)

...Finally put a silencer in my dear ol car (can only hope that by the time i'm married long enough, it'll be legal to do it with real humans)

...taken my dogs out for three walkies

...done a bang-up job of presenting to the Grant board for my billionaire dotcom idea (henceforth known simply as BDI)

...watched about 20 hours of Top Gear (which explains the new Brit slangs in today's post)

...tidied my room while watching 20 hours of Top Gear (and as such, is still a work in progress)

phew.

Yes, i've been a busy little bee. Don't even feel a tad bit like I'm bumming to be honest. Everyday, there's been something to do, even over the weekend. Whether it's driving down to Puchong to see the printers for duplication of my band's upcoming EP, or talking to myself at home with a bunch of cue cards in hand, it's been an absolutely jam-packed week n a half.

But as you've probably guessed, i'm loving every minute of it.

It's two things - the first is that everything i'm doing now, is for myself. No nameless corporation or employer is benefiting from my efforts unless i want them to - which brings me to the 2nd thing.

Everything i'm doing now, I can just say NO to.

While it's obvious that i love what i'm doing, at any given time, i can simply choose not to do anything, take a breather, have a cuppa coffee and catch up on an over-rated book. It's a great feeling to have. For the first time since i started working 6 years ago (sheesh), I'm well and truly free.

of course, it's also a bit scary since i no longer have a regular source of income, but I have to say that I'm blessed to have something like the Voice Over work I do now.

In the past ten days, I've had five jobs which netted me an approximate RM1400 (yes, better than a good looking prostitute who does ass-to-mouth). While i won't be seeing this money for a good month or three (A2M pros get cash (so i've heard)), it's comforting to know that every penny i spent isn't just a penny that's just disappeared.

So, thank you mummy, daddy and Kent for giving me a sexy voice. *Tee hee* (but smoking is still bad for your health, kids!)

I'm really taking the time to appreciate this brief calm and relative lack of responsibility in my life.

Cos soon enough, it will turn into a storm of responsibility and fear of the unknown as my BDI starts taking off.

Meanwhile, I'll just stop n smell the coffee.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

i feel alive again

2007-04-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

Wow,

sure has been a while eh?

Don't even know who i'm talking to anymore since most of the people who ever visited this blog are probably pensioners by now.

Anyhows, it's been six months (+/-) since my last post, and I think the reason is largely cos the new job hasn't really worked out as well as I had hoped. It's not my colleagues, or the office environment, or the pay or even the future this time around. The Net's taking off in a big way, my colleagues are awesome, and er... shit... what was the other one again?
Oh yea, office environment. Smoky, but friendly.

No, it's the job.

I don't like the fact that I can't be myself 80% of the time. Yup. Hate it. Hate acting nice to people I hate, hate lying to people i like, and hate selling for a company that I don't believe in.

Oh well, just as well all my readers are pensioners, otherwise I might get fired very soon.

Actually, that might not be so bad since it's something that i've put off for various reasons over the past coupla months. This'll be the first time i quit a job outta guilt.

Yea, i'm feeling guilty since i don't work half as hard my excellent colleagues. I'm just not pumped about it i guess. And sales is a job where you make your own work. The more you call and follow up, the more proposals and presentations you do, the more money you get (hopefully)

I guess it's that last bit that sorta breaks the chain for me. I'm just not that interested in money. I remember telling my boss this before i joined, and he said "Think of it as a bonus". I can do that, except there's nothing else in this job that i can latch on to.

So.

What am I gonna do?

Well, as corny as it sounds, I have a dotcom idea that's gonna make me and two lucky friends millionaires.

Someday, this bit of Blogger.com will be a famous quote in WIRED magazine.

When that happens maybe I can ask them for a job :) You see, if this really pans out and I get rich beyond my wildest imagination, I won't splurge on a huge mansion. I'll take the money and live a normal life, but debt-free. Then I'll just spend my time doing stuff that I really really love. Like writing. And Voice overs for commercials. And spoiling some lucky lady.

Meanwhile in reality, I've just been working feverishly on this idea. It gets me damned excited everytime i think about it, and unfortunately, I can't reveal it just yet.

"oh my god, this guy is so deluded"

I heard that.

Just you wait.

A Brave New World

2006-10-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

As of 4 hours and 13 minutes ago, I'm no longer a privileged member of the media.

I left with a tinge of irony. It's the same day that GoMD is off to Germany, and I end up serving my last hour of media privilege at Oktoberfest in 1 Utama. I don't think the impact of me leaving the media has really sunk in yet, so let me tell you why being a journalist is quite awesome.

1. Writing
Of course, I love writing, as I demonstrat sporadically on this blog. Writing gives me all the time in the world to think of smart things to say. Most people are smart if given enough time, of which I am living proof.

2. Living beyond your means
I've told a few people about this one before. It's what keeps being in the media fresh. You see, we get to do things and go places that we could never have afforded on our meagre salaries. And in a big way, that's actually better than being able to pay for it yourself - in the sense that you're constantly living beyond your means. It's an awesome feeling.

3. Glamour
Even if you did have the money to go to Spain, like I did recently for the Mini Cooper test drive, chances are slim that you would've rented a Cooper S as your transport of choice. Even if you did, you probably wouldn't have driven it the way I did around the country roads on the outskirts of Barcelona. And you probably wouldn't have had a convoy of 4 of them just to attract even more attention.

4. Entertaining people
I'm a born entertainer. I love making people laugh and smile, and the media gives me the opportunity to do that for a living. It's even nicer to entertain people that you've never even met. Dont believe me? Well even some non-believers have eventually found similar joys.

So, after all that, you're probably asking - "Then why the bloody hell did you leave?"

Well, to be honest, it's really a combination of things. At some point this year, I felt like I wasn't giving 100% to NewMan. I was arriving at work late, and leaving my deadlines for later. I think it was a consequence of working in a place where passion was largely dead. I didn't feel that any of my colleagues (barring perhaps my fashion editor) were really passionate about what they did. Surprisingly, instead of instilling them with my obvious passion for the mag, I sorta fell through as well.

Anyways, I've always said that NewMan would be my last publishing stop in Malaysia (if any of you know ANYONE from WIRED or F1 Racing, I will make you happy in your pants!), so when this opportunity came by to sell something that I actually believed in, I thought - what the heck.

To be honest, I never saw journalism as a career anyway. 5 years ago, I was on course to be a DJ at Red 104.9 when someone offered me a job at CHIP magazine while I was waiting. Obviously the DJ job fell through, and I decided that I kinda liked what I was doing. Like I told someone recently, give yourself a chance to try new things because at the age we're at, we're still allowed to make a coupla mistakes. Guess you just gotta be a bit brave sometimes.

Oh well, here goes.

I'm twenty seven

2006-09-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

Yikes.

Damn fast wei.

To make myself feel accomplished, I'm gonna list out my Top Ten Firsts in the past 2.7 decades.

1. 1988: First first in class
They say that true brains show in primary school. The rational for this is that there's none of that useless memorizing to be done in primary school. It's a six-year long IQ test. And I passed with flying colours. In the previous three years, this girl called Amy Tan used to be first in class every term. 2nd was a girl called Chermaine Lai. Third would be me. I was like the Jenson Button of SRK D'sara Jaya.

Then one magical term in Standard Four, I did it. I became to top scorer in my class! I went around telling the whole world (yea, I was a show-off even back then), and of course, Amy, who was also my first crush.

Next term, i got eleventh. Bleh. And I was never first ever again.

2. 1988: First crush
I still remember it. One day I thought girls were gross, the next, I was walking around asking people whether guys could marry girls older than them. Amy was 6 months older than me. One night, I dreamt I kissed her on the way up to Fraser's Hill, and from there, my heart would never be my own again.

I never went out with Amy, but made up for that by acting like an idiot in front of her for countless years after.

Interesting Trivia bit: Amy subsequently went out with a boy called Chua, who then later also went out with the girl known on my blog as The One. Sigh. 2-0. Bastard.

3. 1994: First girlfriend
I remember telling my classmate, Krish... "by the end of the year, Farah will be mine". Farah was the hottest malay girl in MCKL (in my humble opinion), and she'd just passed puberty, but was still wearing her old uniform, so she was literally popping out of it. And she had the cutest duckling face too. And by the end of the year, we were together. Yup, she was Malay and her father hated my guts, even though her mum actually kinda liked me.

We didn't do anything (not even kiss). But it was really sweet. Because her dad was an A*hole, we used to synchronise our watches so that I'd call her at 6am sharp to talk. It'd be so precise that the phone wouldn't even ring once.

Four months later, we broke up. And I'd be heart broken until I left MCKL a year later, and so would she. Until she met her 2nd boyfriend, a malay dude called Iwan.

4. 1996: First smoke
Actually, my first smoke was with my highschool buds in Langkawi in 95, but since i didn't really smoke it (Krish: It's not a fucking candle), I'll count this one instead.

SK had a pack of Malboro Red 7s, and he didn't want to take it home (scared parents find). So he passed it to me, since I lived at the time in a rented room in SS2. I remember the immortalised words "Feel free to experiment".

I didn't touch them for about two weeks. After that, I lit one out of curiousity. god knows how stale they probably were my then. I coughed at first, then slowly began to inhale properly. Then i passed out for 6 hours.

My parents thought he was Satan till recent years.

5. 1996: First song
This was written about SK's really hot girlfriend. Sorry dude, I meant to tell you earlier.

i came home from the party
her face still on my mind
what it was about her
reasons i still try to find

and i wonder what shes got
i wonder what it is ive not
i wonder how shes doin now
all i know ive finally found

CHORUS
shes the one ivee been waiting for
all my life i will search no more
the perfect girl ive finally found
but burn my dreams burn them to the ground

i see her from far away
ive been stalking her night an day
where she goes and what she does
which guys been bugging her?
talk to my friends about her
they all see like i see
im not the perfect one for her
but shes the prefect one for me

CHORUS

i know my chances are so slim cos we're so far apart
i just hope you'll find a place for me
inside your heart

Yea, cheese double.

6. 1998: First gig
Ok, so I didn't really blow the audience away. I was supposed to sing with a few friends from the APIIT DF9801 class choir. To be honest, most of them couldn't sing to save their lives, except for this other girl called Janice. The first song was "Isn't it a wonder" (yes, by boyzone), and my vocals went silent. For the 2nd song, "Sukiyaki", Janice was supposed to sing, and the vocals started working again. She sang beautifully, and the audience roared their approval.

And then Janice went up two keys excitedly. I tried to keep up with the guitar, but it was pointless since no one could hear my guitar anyway.

It's been a bit better since then.

7. 2001: First job
I was hired at The Sun as a writer for The Sun, for the rather impressive figure of RM2k (2085 to be precise, including transport allowance). I was a Content Executive, and I loved it! I still have the clippings of my first published articles, and had one of my best bosses ever, a kindly woman called Pin.

The IT section closed down a month later, and they offered me a job in the business section, although I have no regrets about not taking it.

8. 2003: First f*ck
Sorry for rather rude description. Can't really put anything to replace that word and still use the word 'First' with.

Yup, I've only been a non-virgin for three years. To be honest, it seems like an eternity ago. The girl, was a nice Chindian whom i met at a club. The first time was awkward. I didn't wanna let her know that I was a virgin, and to this day, I still suspect that she was one too.

So we both kept saying things like, "Well, usually I..." and it was damn fricking awkward like you can't believe. I've had a phobia for condoms since.

We broke up three months later. She wasn't really my type. But at least, I got the monkey off my back. Trust me, it's a big fucking monkey.

9. 2003: First real relationship
And to date, what I consider my only real relationship. Her name was Teresa, and she stands tall at 4ft 11 inches. She was a PR girl for one of the tech companies that I used to write about at CHIP magazine. She lived in Singapore, so she'd come down once a month, and I'd come down once a month, and so we saw each other more or less every two weeks.

It was awesome for the longest time, and I still hold really fond memories of her. I know it sounds really weird, but it was also the best breakup I ever had. After we'd decided to go our seperate ways, we spent one last weekend as a couple in Singapore, and said our honestly sad goodbyes after.

Teresa, if you're reading this, I think I did actually love you. I don't know why I never said it. I'm sorry :)

10. 2004: First radio voice job
It was a Sony ad for their WEGA TVs. I was in the studio for an hour, and they kept asking me to sound older (why use me then, morons!). In the end, they gave up and Amir Yussof got the job instead.

I got a rejection fee of 50% of the job. 150 bucks. Whoah.

Wow... this was an awesome trip down memory lane for me.

Anyway, in case I forget to invite you, I'm having a little party at my house in DJ this Saturday, 23rd September. So if you said I never called, I can say "See la, don't read my blog somemore!"

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to meeee!

Quarter Life Crisis

2006-09-16T12:34:00.000+08:00

Today, I suddenly realised that me and my little posse of dudes are going through our 2nd teenhood. We're all looking to buy new cars, meet new women, and just go out and have a damn good time before we settle down in a coupla years. I know he's gonna hate me for saying this, but it all really came together when SK finally became single again. Finally, all our single stars aligned, and here we are, in the prime of life, with a little cash to spend, and a few more dreams we'd like to achieve.

My band's song is at no.8 on the Xfresh Top Ten, with fake electronic drums and 100% DIY recording,

http://www.xfresh.com/v9/chart.asp?chart=0 (yea, check out how they picked mr. poster boy again)

and we've just finished playing our biggest gig over at zouk.
http://www.klue.com.my/heinekenthirststudio/

So at the jamming session on Thursday (our first after the zouk gig), we sat down outside, and had a real, honest, heart-to-heart talk about where we're going with the band. We reached a stage where our original mini-dreams have been achieved, and went... "What do we do now?"

I think it's a phase that all men our age go through. When do we 'stop dreaming and get back to reality?'. How far do you want to go with this childish fantasy before realising that you simply do not have the time for flights of fancy anymore? I for one, hope that I never have to make that decision.

Luckily, my band agrees. At least to delay it for a bit.

We're putting up about RM2k each to produce a 5-song EP with Greg Henderson. He's the producer we met during our little Masterclass session with Heineken, and apparently the best in the business. Even so, we'd be lucky to make back the cost of printing the CDs, not even mentioning the cost of production. In a way, it's money that we know we're pissing away.

Then again, when you really really think about it, for the price of an iPod or a digital camera, we get a shot at our dreams. And to me, that's something worth spending on. Deep down inside, I think all my band members know that our sessions with Greg, and seeing our CD on stands will give them a bigger kick than a new gizmo, although iPods sure are tempting little buggers. Anyway, now that you know this, don't even try asking us for a free CD. If you want one, pay for it. Like us, you'll appreciate it more - trust me.

On one hand, i'd like to really treasure this moment, knowing that it's not going to last forever - the image of 40-year old dads rocking out on stage, driving old sports cars and chasing young skirts isn't really socially acceptable.

On the other hand, I don't wanna give a flying fuck to what society thinks anyway.

Dream On :)

Good night and Good luck

2006-07-26T03:34:00.000+08:00

Music of the day
------------------------------------
Switchfoot - More than Fine, The Beautiful Letdown
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
U2 - All I Want Is You
Superbar - Same Way I Do
Corinne Bailey Rae - whole album (but turned off once I realised that I wasn't going to be making out)
------------------------------------

Today, was possibly the last time that GoMD will sit in my car. She's decided that she's going to Germany, so I've decided that I should probably not think about a girl who's going away to a faraway country (possibly forever).

Actually, all this happened four days ago, and we've met up 4 times since. It's a long story, which I will attempt to get into now, since

A. blogging seems to be a good emotional outlet and
B. Now that everything's out in the open, there's no need for me to hide anything.

(sidenote: if you're reading this, I thank you for your patience since I haven't posted anything since Japan Day One (the rest of the days are coming soon, promise!))

In case you're new to the blog, and just because I feel like saying it, GoMD stands for Girl of My Dreams. I gave her that name ever since the first time I actually did dream about her. While it escapes me now what that original dream was about, it's only because I've had so many that it's hard to keep track. Needless to say, I'm unhealthily in love with this girl. Want more background? check out my archives. Yea, it's unhealthy.

Anyways, last week on Friday, I came to the conclusion that the way things were going (me hanging out with her almost every day), things were going to end badly. So I took the move to say to her that it was time for me to move on. In perfect honesty, this move was half a genuine need to stop running up a wall (as fun as it is), and the other half a vain attempt to make her realise that she needed me as well.

For a while, the latter half seemed to be working.

Anyhow, the next day, I'm at the STUFF anniversary party. STUFF is a magazine which I used to be the editor of, so in a way, going there is like going to the marriage of an ex-wife. I just want to see how she's doing, and laugh at her poor excuse of a replacement for mua.

Yea, I hear ya... get to the fuckin point.

I'm there for two reasons. One is because I kinda miss GoMD, and the other is because this really cute girl is gonna be there. For now, let's call her Stereogirl (like the NSP song). Anyhow, I find Stereogirl and end up having a pretty good time chatting to her (while incidentally winning an MP3 player from a cheerleading contest... but that's another story).

Stereogirl is dressed in an unflattering oversized polo shirt (cos she's actually working for a radio station which has a part in the party), so she elects to go home early. Meanwhile I'm hanging with my ex-colleagues, which includes GoMD. Unfortunately, the older new me (hah) isn't really much of a party animal anymore so I elect to join a bunch of hungry ex-colleagues out to supper. GoMD stays behind to party.

Anyways, long story short (yea, i'm getting to the point you ADD MTV generation person), GoMD wants a lift back later, cos she's too high to drive. As I'm taking her home, we decide to get a drink from 7-11 and hang out for a while. To be honest both ways, I think we both kinda missed each other.

We end up on a hill, until the disappointing KL sunrise (fully justifies my waking up late here), with her asleep in my arms on my car hood. Yup, it's a damn romantic situation, coupled with the feeling that this is the last night for me and her. Sunday morning, I send her back, promising myself that this was the end, and that I'd message Stereogirl as soon as i woke up in the afternoon.

So i did, and she replies almost immediately, ensuing a quick succession of numerous SMS exchanges that ends in her calling me. The following excerpt is towards the end of that conversation.

(laughing about something or other)
Me: Hey, you got an accent. Where's that from?
Stereogirl: I just came back from overseas...
Me: Really? where?
SG: I was studying in Australia for a while then I went to Germany for a holiday.

(at this point, I totally skimmed the fact that this was the country that I'd be losing GoMD to)

Me: Oh really? How long for?
SG: 5 months
Me: 5 months in Germany? I can't imagine. I heard it's boring. (at this point, I'm getting a bit bitchy, to be honest)
SG: Yea, my boyfriend is there.
Me: ....

After a brief pause, I take it into my stride, continue the conversation for a bit and politely say my goodbyes.

What are the fucking chances? I mean seriously. Does Germany outsource their cuddlebunny jobs to Malaysia? fark.

To compound this, later when I'm having dinner with my parents at a restaurant in Subang called Las Carretas, the table we're shown (that my mum reserved via phone) is smack under a sign that is shown below, for your ironic entertainment.

At moments like this, you'd imagine that God is the best sitcom director ever.

Anyhows, on the Monday after, I get a message from GoMD saying that she's got some stuff to get off her chest. I'm busy recording a song with my band on that night, so I arrange to meet her the next night.

Which brings us to earlier tonite.

We basically went to a quiet park and talked about the whole situation. While the conversation starts casual, I bring up the topic rather suddenly since I'm fast losing patience with the situation. GoMD was quite honest with her feelings, although sometimes vague about how she felt about me. Whether that's out of sympathy to me or some other reason is something i'm trying not to think about as i type this. Anyways, I've kinda made up my mind not to see her anymore, so after talking about the kinda thing you would talk about in a situation like this, we take a long solemn ride back to her place. She leaves the car with hardly a word, hug or kiss, although I have the feeling that perhaps that's for the best.

We part ways, and I head over to Cuddlebuddy's house. (CuB is a close friend of mine that I've previously had a fling with. Because of this, we've gotten the whole sexual thing out of the way, and can thus be pretty darned honest about most things.)

She consoles me as only she can (yes, it's CuB, not FuB so don't get the wrong idea), complete with my cynicism dumping ("nice guys finish last", "I think I'm gonna be a slut from now on"). It's really tough not to be a cynic at times like this, but I guess that's human nature. Another thing about human nature is our tendency to want things that are getting away from us. This has everything to do with the sad state of affairs, but that's a topic for another day.

Anyhows, it works, and I'm glad I went to CuB's house instead of one of my mates. Sometimes, you just need a woman's touch. I head home with perhaps my first step towards feeling a sense of release rather than a sense of waste and sadness. I think the two beers helped too.

And yet, I miss her. I tell myself that I'll get over it eventually, but I wish I had Adam Sandler's remote control to fast forward to that moment right now.

Right now, life sucks and I have to wake up in 5 hours for work. Sigh.

Thanks for listening.

Japan Day One: Ice Cream, Naked Men and an anti-climax

2006-06-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

just deleted blog twice. didnt understand kanji word for delete instead of post. ARGH. doesnt help that this keyboard is about the size of my hot springs towel earlier today, so do forgive the typos and the total lack of apostrophes. japan keyboard layout very funny. sigh.

anyways, id best type this out while my memory is still fresh. japan is a place of many surprises. seriously. almost all the tips i got from people whove been here is wrong.

used to lack of apostrophes and caps yet? hope so. will edit later if i feel like it. will also add some photos when i get the chance. got some really good ones. promise.

anyhows... from the air, fukuoka looks like simcity. its got tightly packed buildings that look the same, only in different colours, and a bright blue highway that spirals its way around the city. me and sf (short for smallfart) hardly had a wink of sleep on the plane, so we pre-decided to just take it easy for our first day in japan. based on the title of this post alone, you can safely assume that things didnt quite go according to plan.

first thing we noticed? things arent really as expensive as people have led us to believe. a can of coke costs about 3 ringgit, while a pack of ciggies goes for rm10. anyhows, fukuoka is a really small airport with no duty free so after a brief language problem with the customs people, i was out into japanese air for the first time in 20 years.

felt the same as when i left kl. its 8am on a thursday morning and its quite bloody hot. i took off my jacket and went for a smoke in the cute little designated smoking area OUTSIDE the airport. weird thing... everyone smokes here, and most restaurants allow smoking, but make sure you do it in the designated areas.

anyway, soon after, sfs uncle arrived. sf is actually a friend of mine from back in my apiit days. his uncle married a japanese woman many years ago, and then settled down in kyushu (the southern most city of the southern most island of japan). he kindly offered to be our host during this trip, and his house is about 2 hours from fukuoka.

so we pop our stuff into the car, and shoot off. now, the best thing i like about travelling is that everything is new to you. because of that, i was hesitant to nod off, since i wanted to take it all in. but lack of sleep caused me to cave in in seconds.

woke up and had my first meal at a little convenience store. ice cream with red beans. sf was tellin me that ice cream in japan rocks! and i have to agree with him. for some reason, its damn good. anyway, while munching on my ice cream, i noticed that the air here was alot colder than back at the airport. i asked where we were. apparently, khengko-san (sfs uncle) had taken us to the hills of kiramoto... a province about an hour south of fukuoka. first thing on the agenda? a natural spring.

the countryside here is really nice. its kinda like the countryside of any first world nation (like aussie or the uk), except with little japanese huts and a big gaudy mall every 5km or so. ok, maybe huts is the wrong word... more like little modern houses like the ones u see in animes.

anyway, cos i seem to be rambling, and my wrists are starting to hurt from this measly keyboard, ill cut it short, springs were awesome. you cn drink (and bottle) the water straight and it tastes damn good. i always poo pooed all those expensive waters, saying that all water tastes the damned same. i stand corrected. anyhows, had my first real meal of more ice cream and some assorted tofus and headed off for somewhere more exciting... an active volcano.

a short drive later, i soon found myself thinking "hmmm... maybe a cable car ride up to an active volcano isnt such a good idea". but by that time, i was already on it. pictures at the base showed glowing red magma spitting out and huge plumes of smoke. they also had a sign warning asthmatics and heart conditioners not to go up because the volcano had been acting up lately. great. and also, here 2000m above sea level, the weather was freezing.

we arrive at the top and the first thing i see is a haagen daaz vending machine. these guys are nuts. shivering and whipped with a light drizzle and a heavy wind, we begin the short climb right up to the mouth of the volcano, and peer down into the crater with anticipation.

mist.

alot of mist.

we wait for about ten minutes for it to clear and then this short official looking guy comes up to us, and tells us that the mist came about ten minutes ago, but probably wouldnt let up for another coupla hours. great. oh yes, and incidentally, were here in japan smack in the middle of a one-month rainy season, so its been raining intermittently all day. oh well.

we head off for some ramen (rm15) at a stall to warm our insides. oh, interesting fact - in japan, people just order "a bowl of ramen" without stating the type. apparently, each province has a different "default" ramen. kiroshimas version is a slightly milky broth that comes with half a noiled egg and a big juicy piece of char siew. yum!!!!

after that, we head off to a place called hells springs - for my first japanese bathhouse experience.

"so how far do we strip?" i ask khengko-san...

"everything" he replies while flashing me his buttocks.

and all i have to cover myself is a cloth the size of a paper napkin.

ok, honestly, i dont have anything against being naked, but being naked in front of someone youve known for a while can be a bit awkward. yknow guys and the whole penis thing right? its like if you know someones penis is smaller than yours, you can own them for life.

ive never seen any of my closest friends penises.

there i said it. anyhows, i was surprised how easily i took to it. but ive got to say that later, when i was drying myself, i found myself unconsciously turning away from sf. later i noticed he was doing the same, so it felt less awkward. no i didnt sneak a peek.

the hot stpring itself was damned relaxing, and you get over the slight smell of sulphure quite fast. getting back out into the cold weather is even better after that, so feeling extremely relaxed, i konked out in the car while we drove to our next destination... to meet someone called nagai-san.

nagai-san is a fifty plus japanese man, whos currently trying to get someone to market his revolutinary new hifi system. in a nutshell, the subwoofer, tweeter and mids are housed in this football-shaped wooden box, with each having multiple outputs in different directions. very cool stuff. check the photos later.

walking into nagai-san's house though, i felt like i was walking into a bizarre anime. there was barely space to walk, with wires, speaker cones, books, cds and god knows what else strewn into every imaginable crevice, shelf, box and piece of floor. you had to step on something walking in. it was impossible not to.

anyways, he gave us a quick demo of the system (to the tune of a cello recording he performed himself) and introduced his son, hidae-san. hidae-san is a really quiet guy, who speaks halting english - thanks to a brief stint in melbourne. we chit cat, have a ciggie, and soon were off for dinner in his toyota prius.

the prius is FUCKING cool. its a hybrid car that basically stores energy when you brake, to use it when u accelerate, thus using abouft half the fuel of an equivalently powerfrul car. it also has this way cool display on the dashboard that shows you everything like efficiency graphs and so forth - and the coolest thing... a view of the camera mounted on the rear bumper to help you park, complete with grid lines to tell us exactly the right position. i pulled my camera out to take a few pictures.

at this point, sf turns to me and tell me that all the people we met to far must think were sakais. weve been taking pictures of everything, from japanese myvis to cans of drink.

i will never laugh at another japanese tourist ever again.

dinner is delicious once again, consisting of pancakes cooked with mui chee rice cakes. damned good, and goes well with the beer. after that, we head back to hidae-sans place, where apparently were spending the night. hidae-sans apartment is not much neater than his dads, except that in the place of wires and equipment, there are piles and piles of manga books, toys, game consoles and soft drinks. he is what the locals call an otaku. a fanboy.

well, we get along just fine, and soon, were playing soul calibur and gran turismo up to about 1am in the morning, at which point we head off to sleep.

except me, cos ive been typing this journal. but now its my turn too.

tomorrow - itll be the audio-dojo, shopping and off the kagoshima - khengko-sans home.

gnight marasia. boosh.

4-month blog syndrome

2006-06-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

I haven't blogged for more than a month.

Sure, I'll go into the usual tirade about how it's been crazy, or that I haven't really felt like writing anything, but i think the fact is that bloggers reach a critical point after 4 months.

After the initial joy of blogging is gone, after you've gotten used to exposing your thoughts to an unknown public... yadadada. Also, now that I've actually got people reading what I say (unlike my first ever post), I can no longer say anything. Trust me, no matter how little you care about what other people think, sometimes you just can't always write what you feel. Why? Because when you weigh the importance of your words against the potential to hurt someone, free speech just isn't that important all the time.

Anyhows, aside from the necessity of telling people i know that I'm in Japan as of tomorrow (22-29 June), I've also decided to continue blogging. Alot of people have commented that my blog isn't much like myself. It's alot more sombre, and sometimes depressing.

Well, to be honest, the first thing is that I always find it harder to be funny in writing. I think it's something to do with the fact that it's not as spontaneous as talking. Anyhow, the 2nd reason (and i think this one is bigger), is simply because you probably don't know me that well.

I'm a very introspective person by nature, and this blog is in a way, for me to explore myself. Someone who recently wrote a column anonymously pointed out to me that her first writing experience was like a journey. I guess in a way, it's like love. If you really care about your subject, it's always a journey.

Man, I'm rambling. Anyhows, will be in Japan, where my phone won't work. Despite this, I've just (really, just) decided to use this blog as a Journal of my Japan trip. Will post pictures (not of chuck norris).

I got good aura yo!

2006-05-24T01:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went for something called Holographic Healing. Sounds like a load of mumbo jumbo bullshit, where you sit in a quiet room and a woman puts her hands on you to transfer energy to you to cleanse your Chakra. Actually, it sounds more like a papaya farm, but I assure you, it's pretty cool.

I did honestly feel something when I was in that room. It's remarkable because

A. I fell asleep in mere seconds, even with a strange woman in a seeming trance over my reclining body.

B. I woke up and looked up every once in a while and she was still there, with her hands a few inches from my body

C. I actually felt waves through my body

Even taken at face value, the woman was a great counselor, so at the very least, it's cheaper than going to a shrink. Not that I need one though, since the woman told me that my aura looks just fine, and that she didn't really have to 'clear' alot out of my body. Wow... guess I am feeling better these days.

In other news, it's been an overall good day. I collected the police report for my accident a month ago, and it clearly impicates small-penis uncle (made you laugh?) as the party at fault. With this, I can now go and claim his insurance. I called him today to ask him whether he wanted to settle it in cash instead, but he was still trying to wiggle his way out of it, so it looks like I'll have to claim it. Damn. He kept mentioning something about us both being Chinese and not wanting to make a big fuss out of it, but I couldn't be bothered listening to his racist slurs. Bet he would've bumped it up to Malaysian if I was Indian. Bleh. Whatever. Fork up you blind bat.

I also went for a nostalgia CS game today. I just had a sudden urge, but I was very happily surprised when I found out I wasn't alone* in the urge. Within 30 minutes, I'd gotten back 11 SMSs from all my old CS buddies saying that they'd try their damndest to have make it for the session. 10 of them showed up, and then some...and damn, was it fun! We used to play regularly up to about 3-4 years back, so getting the whole gang again was awesome! I think we've all been feeling a little disconnected recently, so there's nothing quite like playing a multiplayer game together and kicking each others asses.

Holographic healing and therapeutic killing. That's chicken chop for the soul. Ahhh.

* When I first typed this word, I accidentally typed 'love' instead of 'alone'. Only realised this upon edit. I think that says alot for my current mental state.

Imondafon! :)

2006-05-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

There's one thing about GoMD that I like more than anything else about her and it's her genuine nature. It helps people like me who don't necessarily read women all that well, but that's not the main thing behind it. The main thing is that making her smile is like making a baby smile.

I love making babies smile. It's probably the most rewarding thing to do because you know that they don't just laugh at the word "penis", and that they have no reason to smile except because somehow, you made them feel like smiling. That last part is what I felt like today when I finally gave GoMD her secret present (sounds dodgy, but it isn't).

Well, I didn't really give it to her directly, since it was her sis that let the cat out of the bag (Meowr...sue), and I could have felt a bit miffed, but the sheer happiness of GoMD upon receiving the gift melted my increasingly cynical heart. It's the kind of gratitude that goes beyond "thank you" - you just know that she's happy.

That's better than 100 thank-yous or 1000 I-really-like-it's, and it makes me feel like a million bucks.

Getting back under things

2006-05-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

I consider myself to be a pretty good mind-manager. Not in the sense of how to organise my appointments and my time, but more to get over the little setbacks in life and enjoy it for what it is. But for once, I'm faced with a bit of a dilemma. And it starts the way most dilemma stories do.

There's this girl. She's a friend of the family that I used to have a massive crush on when I was in my early teens. I used to look forward to our family trips just because of her. She had a boyfriend back then. Gangster apparently.

Shortly after I got back from Melbourne, I bumped into her at a PC Fair looking for the Hitz.fm Fugitive. She'd grown up nicely... still just as pretty and with a very good head on her shoulders. I took her for a Japanese dinner a coupla weeks after that, and shortly fell all over again. At the time, she had just gotten together with a new boyfriend.

Bad timing. Story of my life. Anyhows, I have a big confession that only my closest friends know about. I used to refer to her as The One. In fact, most of my friends have gotten so used to hearing it that they use it to her too. I once famously said to a friend of mine that if I could, I'd marry her on the spot. This carried on for a good number of years, through three girlfriends on my side, and the same old guy on hers.

He was her One. Normally, I'd hold out hope for more than a coupla years, but these two were so damned compatible and close that it was hard not to believe a little in it yourself. In fact, he used to ask me to go to cybercafes with him to play CS. How can you hate him, damnit?

So eventually, I gave up. I can't even remember exactly when it happened, but it was so gradual that I didn't notice it for a few months. Then I met GoMD and The One was pushed back for a while. There was even an interesting scenario where GoMD and I were hanging out in a park late at night and I saw The One's car pass by, and I didn't worry. That was when I sorta realised how far it went with GoMD.

But of course now, as you know, GoMD has gone her own way. And guess what? The One just broke up. She calls me up, crying one night, and I head straight over to her house. Here's a tasty tidbit from the conversation. First part is her.

"Sucks right, when you think someone's The One, but they don't think the same of you?"

"Yea."

"Have you ever had a One?"

Oh boy. I think I've had two now. But the funny thing is that my mind was so good at getting over The One that I now find it hard to get back under, or to fall again. I was confused for a good while. It threw me into a funk for a few days, cursing myself for bad timing. Again.

Then I realised that i've lost the ability to let things happen naturally. I premeditate so much these days that it's almost crazy. One of my close friends recently told me that he's seeing this new girl that when he goes out with her he "knows he's gonna have a great time".

I started thinking about the last time I felt like that. It's been a long while. So I figured The One's not going to rush back into the dating game. She's got too strong a head on her shoulders for that. I figured I could learn a thing or two from her.

Let's just see how it goes.

NWA rocks

2006-04-29T19:27:00.000+08:00

Today, my friend waited in the car (double parked) while i ran up to the computer shop to get something. Halfway through the process of negotiation with the ahbeng upstairs, I got a call from my friend screaming "OI! someone just banged your CAR!!!"

So I ran downstairs, and saw this chinese man in his fifties, who could have been my uncle. He was coming out of his car park with his old cefiro (unclemobile), and had reversed straight into my car, giving my friend a big jolt and denting my door so badly that the alarm no longer works. And he was blaming me for parking there.

USE YOUR FUCKING EYES la, uncle. My friend is there in the car, just ask him to move the car if your estimation has gone down with your ability to make babies. Anyway, to those with problems visualising the situation, here is an illustration done in MS Paint.

Pretty obvious, no? But, of course, Malaysians will never admit to being wrong in a car accident. So they cling to some excuse that the other person is somehow wrong. some of them actually believe it. Like this dude.

So I come out of the car, and he starts blaming me immediately. I can feel myself getting angrier, and he has kids (ugly as they are), so I decide to just remain calm, get his number plate and car model, take some pictures and ask him to meet me at the police station (a place I'm rather familiar with).

When I get there, he's nowhere to be found. So I go ahead and report the incident. The cops are fairly sympathetic (as they usually are before they get their bribes), so I ask them what happens next.

A. He reports it, and I come back the next day to get his details down to call him (yes, in my anger i forgot to ask for contact details).

B. He doesn't report it, I don't get to claim my insurance and all he gets is a BLACKLIST status that can be cleared with a 50 ringgit excuse note from our Sultan.

FUCK THESE DAMN COPS. Seriously. This isn't the first time either. The last time I got rammed by some drunken truck driver with a fake numberplate, he got off scot free and I wasted my goddamn time reporting the incident. Nothing ever happened after that. No follow up, no phone call.

But oh, when you don't pay your summons, they send cops to your house. Where are those cops now? Aren't they supposed to help me find the impotent uncle? No, they're off harassing someone else for money, and justice is a word mentioned only once in this blog. Yes you just saw it.

Now you wonder why the crime rate here is so high. People can commit crimes left, right and centre, knowing that money (or just plain old laziness) will get them off. Once, a cop followed me through an illegal u-turn to give me a summon. Talk about ironic.

And the icing on the cake? I just got a call from the cops. Apparently, I was double parking, so neither of us get to claim insurance, and both of us get fined. I don't know about you, I define parking as leaving your car unattended. What say you?

So now, having been an innocent bystander, I not only have to pay for the damages to my car, I also have a new summon to contend with, for GODDAMN double-parking.

FUCK the Malaysian Police. You're all a goddamn embarassment to a country with no shortage of them. Come and arrest me now.

Yes, I am angry now. No, it will pass fairly quickly. I will upload a picture of the small-penis uncle later, so you can check if he used to be your high-school teacher, stepfather or lover.

I'm sorry

2006-04-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today, I was killing time between two events and decided to head down to Low Yat to exchange some bad PC game copies that i bought a while ago. With my luck being what it is these days, I came on the day that the PC game stalls were anticipating a raid, and were all closed. A little frustrated, I grabbed my copy of F1 Racing April 2006, and went down to a cafe on the ground floor to have a lemonade and a pretzel to go with my magazine.

So I was down there, having a ciggy, reading about how Renault is the most awesome team in F1, when i noticed that the railing i was leaning on was shaking. I looked around and saw this girl behind me, sobbing to herself in Chinese. I looked at her for a while, and waited to see her face (boys will be boys). It took her a while to look up, but when she did, she was above-average looking, although I think she'd be prettier if she was happy.

I held the thought for a while, and was wondering whether I should buy a drink and go over. Then I hesitated. What if she was a nutjob? What if she didn't speak English (my chinese isn't quite good enough for consultation purposes)? What if she was cranky or started following me after I bought her the drink? I don't want that kind of responsibility. I also hate awkward moments. Then my thoughts ran to times that I've been in the same situation, sitting in a public area depressed to myself, watching people walk by, just hoping someone would give a shit.

As my thoughts were fighting each other, I looked at my lemonade for a while, then decided something warm would be better. I looked at the menu at the cafe, and decided on a warm cup of tea (RM2.50).

I looked at her again. A rough guy and a middle-aged auntie talked to her briefly, and then went away. I looked back at my magazine, and tried to distance the thought away. Procrastinating. I realised that if I didn't do anything, I would regret it at some point, so I decided to go ahead and buy the tea first, and then after that, there would be no turning back.

So I got up, trying not to look at her (i didn't want her to think I WAS the nutjob), went to the counter and asked for a cup of tea. They were busy with this other Malay dude, so I waited. Just as I got the tea (and I am telling the absolute truth here), the rough guy (apparently her so-called boyfriend) and middle-aged auntie came back, talked to her, and led her away. So I sat back down, sipping the tea that was now mine, and my mind wandered for a bit.

Shit, I almost got whacked. What if the guy thought I was trying to pick her up?

Then I sort've regretted not goin over there earlier. Then I didn't. Then I did. Finally, I decided to take the chicken exit and called it fate.

I actually hate the term of fate. Like Neo said, "I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life". But it's a convenient excuse or decider sometimes, nonetheless. Still, back to the main topic, I think that we often hold ourselves back from connecting with people, afraid of the responsibility or the consequences.

I think I'd feel alot better now if I had actually just given her the drink and said something profound, like "Life goes on", or just a simple "are you ok?".

I remember once, during my college loser days, when I found out that I got invited to a party just so everyone could give me a nice whacking. It's not a nice feeling, and it lasted till the next day. I was sitting in front of college, and this rather pretty girl (I still remember her name - Joy Ee) came up and asked whether I was okay. I'd met her once or twice before, but we were acquaintances at best. I told her I'd gone through some rough stuff lately, but that I would be fine. She asked if I was sure, and i nodded. She patted me on the back, and said "Take it easy" and walked off.

And immediately, I started feeling better. The worst feeling isn't rejection, it's loneliness. Sometimes as humans, we just want someone to care that we're alive, and care how we're doing. That a relative stranger could care about another, gives me alot of optimism about the world. Optimism that I wished I had enforced today.

My Life is a sitcom

2006-04-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

Today, we went to one of those expensive red-tablecloth restaurants for dinner to celebrate my granma's 83rd birthday. After a rather good dinner, me and a bunch of relatives packed into the lift to head down to the car park again. I held the door as my aunties, uncles and cousins piled past me, barely leaving enough space for myself. I was surprised the lift didn't start beeping from the weight. I settled into the front as the door closed.

"Eh... going up la..." exclaimed one particularly observant uncle.

So the lift went up to the top floor and binged open. THEN it started beeping.

Like WTF? Of course, everyone waiting at the top floor saw the situation and were giggling like schoolgirls. So I got out at the behest of my relatives, and the lift stopped beeping immediately. I got back on, and it started beeping again. So I got off, and was now stuck on the top floor waiting for the lift to go all the way down to the ground floor, and then come up again.

This reminds me of my other tragedy with a lift where i was playing with my parking ticket when it suddenly came loose, and floated like a magic carpet towards the lift door in slow motion.

Then PAP! It landed flat on the door, and proceeded to slip down into the depths of hell. *sigh* 20 bucks gone.

Of course, it's not just lifts... that would be too boring. It's also chairs, bicycles, cars, taxis and ahbengs that add colour to my sitcom life, but I think most of you have seen those episodes already.

Man....

Resolution

2006-04-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

Today, I was walking my dogs around my neighbourhood. Behind GoMD's house (which is sorta near mine), there's this block of newly built apartment blocks which are quite nice. Thought I'd check it out, going through a backroad that I know that seemed directionally correct to get there.

But as I walk the backroad, I realise that it doesn't really lead me to anything but the squatter area that's always been there. I thought they'd have cleared it away by now. So I turned back with both my dogs, and started to walk home, realising that this was the perfect metaphor of my relationship with GoMD.

I genuinely like GoMD alot. I've written this section a few times and deleted it over, cos any words that I use to describe her have already been taken by cliches. Gorgeous, funny, cute, smart (when she needs to be). And she's got the most amazing shoulders that you just know would be fantastic to rest your chin on after a long day.

Long story short, she's with someone already. Long distance. 10 months or something like that. Me n her have been very close these past few months, while he was away. Now i think I can usually tell the difference between friendship and DLL (Dan lain lain). And from the bits and pieces that I told my closest friends, most thought that this one definitely fell in the latter category. I'd never even dared to hope, but I guess I started to, soon enough.

Ok. So the story really ain't that short. Sorry. But anyway, we've been really going out alot these past few months, this is after I'd already confessed my feelings (she asked). Honestly, I was damned sure on this one, cos it seemed like we got even closer after that.

Anyhows, her LDR drops down, looking to settle down here, and of course, like any real man would do, I haven't seen her since. It's been three weeks. Three weeks of wondering, of waiting, and wanting. And she'd never ever told me a straight out no.

Until today.

I'm crying on the inside. Really, I am. You get to a point that you wonder all that bullshit about whether it pays to be a "nice guy" and all that. You hope that somehow a miracle Hollywood ending will take place and it'll make all the uncertainty and effort worthwhile. You smoke a ciggarette. You listen to "Sparks" by Coldplay.

And you stop typing, because you really don't feel like saying much else.

A short epiphany followed by random ranting

2006-04-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

I had an epiphany today. In fact, it just happened. Less than five minutes ago. I'd just finished watching The Weatherman (now crowned The Movie That Best Describes My Condition), and I was thinking about GoMD and some other things, and an idea popped into my head.

What if I were to start a forum in which people could ask questions about love life? Then I went online and sure enough, there's LoveForum.net.

Wow.. that was like the shortest epiphany ever.

Anyway, I feel myself having another one right now. What if, you didn't have to sign on for membership or anything like that, and you just submitted your advice under Positive, Negative or Neutral? That way, depending on whether someone needed to drown in their sorrows or hear some optimism, the choice was theirs.

I just wanted to type in an example of myself and my current situation, but i figure that might be too much information to divulge on something like the internet.Someone once said that blogging should only be done in happy moments. In that case, I'd better shut the hell up right now.

Sigh. Self Censorship. knew it would happen someday.

PS: Hey... does anyone think the Loveforum idea is cool? If it's been done before, I'd like to see the link. Otherwise I'll propose it to my lead guitarist cum internet marketeer.

Trying new things

2006-04-02T03:29:00.000+08:00

So today, me and two recently-singled friends of mine decided to do something different. This weekend, I've been given the privilege of reviewing the most expensive car I've ever had the pleasure of driving. It's an Audi A6 Quattro 3.0.

We figured 3 guys, all single with a nice expensive car... we'd go to Zouk, valet-park in front and go inside to see whether we had what it took to chat up a total stranger (female). None of us had tried it before, so there was no wisdom going into it. More importantly, there wasn't any pressure either.

Valet was fun, with the valet-dudes being extra polite to us 'rich spoilt brats'. We got inside, liquoured up a bit, and started checking out the scene. It being Velvet, there wasn't a shortage of good-lookin women, and some of them were conveniently in girls-night-out mode, dancing right in front of us. But we couldn't do it. We couldn't just walk 2 metres, and say hi, despite a few of them giving us coy glances.

Still, it was a good experience. I think at the end of the day, we found out that we just aren't wired that way. Maybe it's a product of our unhappening childhood, maybe it's just that each of us was checking for messages the entire night from the respective real women in our lives.

I've decided that I'm just not the guy who can go up to a girl, start a conversation, and feel totally at home with it. I just feel fake. And I end up just missing GoMD more.

Yet at the end of it, the three of us had figured out a life-experience together, and come out realising that we're the same chickenshits. In a weird way, it sort of felt good, knowing that we were one and the same. We had a good laugh about it, collected our car from the valet and proceeded for some indo-mee goreng.

I think it'll be a while before we do this again.

Trailers

2006-03-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden, I feel like watching a romantic comedy trailer. Trailers always cheer me up. Right now, I'm downloading the trailer for The Break Up, writing this blog to keep me busy. Guess I just need that little emotional pick-me-up of a typical Hollywood Ending. Which brings me to two points.

The first is very quick and to the point. Trailers are awesome. I can't get enough of them. They take the best parts of a movie, and summarise it into a one-minute plus bit of entertainment that leaves you waiting in anticipation for an often disappointing movie. Why we love them? Humans love anticipation, whether it makes them excited or miserable. A weird mix of what I'm feeling right now. Thus the trailer craving.

The second, is that while society loves to put the pressure on men to go out of their way to romance a woman, they seldom put it the other way. Why? Because girls often do 'romantic' things to guys all the time. However, this avoids one sad fact. While Hollywood has made damn sure that guys know what girls perceive as romance, girls don't really have much of a clue of how to make guys feel the same mushy way inside. Here's a hint. It has little to do with flowers, balloons, poems, or a thousand neatly folded paper stars.

The element of surprise is the common theme. But unlike what you might think, it doesn't always have to be sexual, either. Although it often is.

How to make a guy feel warm and fuzzy inside? Make him feel grateful for you. Buy him something he really likes, after fighting months with him about it (Playstation, Alonso cap). If you're not together yet, show up at his doorstep with nothing but a smile on your face - let him do the rest. Hold his hand and say nothing halfway through an argument. Kiss him when you think he's lost and he doesn't want to admit it. The pattern here is that if you already know he loves you, make him feel like you love him back, for all his faults, and to make him feel damn glad that he's got you.

Man, I'm having a hormone burst here. Gotta cut down on those chicken breasts.

No agenda rant. You have been warned.

2006-03-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

This is possibly the first blog I've written without any noted agenda. It's pure heartpour. While I'm sure that I'll reach some sort of conclusion by the end of it, I start it with none.

Let's summarise a bit. It's the first day for a long while without an sms by GoMD. I'll leave you to figure out the abbreviation (i don't even know why I'm using one). I imagine it's going to be the first of many, as I wait out a situation that might not even have an ending. I bumped into her this morning, and we chatted, but my phone's been pretty silent the whole day, and I miss the wonderful tos and fros of a good SMS conversation. Yes, many of you probably don't have a clue what this is about, but I don't really care at this point. This is my message in a bottle - the reason I started this blog in the first place.

For reasons unexplained, I sit at home with hope in my hand. If she's reading this, then that hope is still there. I'm not one who easily falls in love (I think my ex's can attest to that). But when I do (two previous times in my life that I can clearly remember), it's usually with someone who can't do anything about it (lesbian, taken).

But for some reason, each time when I do, I always feel that there's a chance. That hope usually doesn't die until the love for that person finally fades away (three years or more). Again now, I'm in the same situation. Feeling so close, yet so damn far. And once again, the hope is there, refusing to die despite the odds.

Maybe you're wondering when I'm going to learn my lesson and stop hurting myself. To that, I reply that hope is the most beautiful illogical thing ever created by man. A person who doesn't hope is one who doesn't truly feel alive. Ah... maybe now I've latched onto a subject.

Hmmmm...

Nah, still aimless. MAybe I'll come back to this later. Can't think of any witty conclusions for this one. I miss you.

The Worst Game Ever

2006-03-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

Do you guys know the game? The one that's played equally by both guys and girls. It's a pull and push affair with stupid rules like "don't call her for three days" or "don't talk about your ex-es". Basically, like rules of many other games, it's just alot of 'don'ts'. The basis of the game is that you can somehow make someone fall for you by just playing with the levels of feelings in their heads.

I hate the fuckin game. Seriously, I do. And it's not just because I was never any good at it. It lowers humans to this common denominator. Like, it doesn't matter whether you're short, tall, ugly, smart, fat, an optimist, a pessimist, a communist or a bloody axe-murderer. As long as you know the game, you're on your way to charming someone of the opposite sex.

I've played the game myself. I should apologise, if it weren't for the fact that it's hardly ever a single-player game (man, how geek do i sound now?). Ok, to the slower ones, we're talking about lurrve here. Yup. You pull a bit, give a bit, and pull somemore. If she pulls, you pull back. If she pushes you pull back for a while, then push again. And somewhere in there, you forget who you really are.

But sometimes you meet someone who for some strange reason doesn't play the game. She gives and takes without thinking too much about it. She says things even knowing that she might someday have to pay for them. For a while, it infuriates you. You're so used to playing the game that the rulebook is all you've got. You try all the usual tips and tricks but they don't work. Until that point where you just kinda wake up and remember who you were before you started playing.

Ok, I'll stop talking in third person. I'm sure it's unnecessarily confusing. Besides, the person I'm talking about is probably reading this blog right now. I've got alot to say to her, but of course, in something as public as a blog, you've got to stay a bit mysterious la. So, if you're listening, forget all the other stuff. All I've got to say to you is...

Thanks for not playing.

And I mean that in the bestest way possible :)

The first good week in a long month

2006-03-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

I have to say, I'm feeling rather good about myself these days.

For the first time in a long time, I was actually excited to see my name in print. I've been in journalism for a good long three years already, so it's no big kicks to see my name in print these days.

But recently, I was awarded the privilege of a media pass to the Malaysian GP. Sure I got Alonso's signature (and something else that I can't reveal on these pages), but even more exciting than that, I was in the post-race press conference room after the first race in 24 years that my team has scored a 1-2 finish.

So that's like a big deal enough right? For most F1 fans, that's like a dream come true already. But I wanted to bring it one step further. I knew from experience that if you ask a question during the press conference, it gets printed on the official FIA press release, which in turn, goes out to almost every F1 website in the world. So I knew I had to ask a question.

I didn't really care what question it was, and to be honest, I was nervous as hell when I asked it (I actually asked it before another journalist finished his two-part question... how embarassing). But sure enough, I did. And it's on almost every F1 website in the world.

http://uk.sports.yahoo.com/20032006/13/post-race-fia-press-conference-part-ii.html

http://www.planet-f1.com/News/Story_Page/0,15909,3210_3213_1099479,00.html

http://www.grandprix.com/race/r752sunpc.html

http://www.formula1.com/news/4136.html

Yeah, it's all the same article. Hope you didn't click on all of them and boycott my blog as a result.

I'm on bail!

2006-03-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

it's been a pretty horrible week for me by anyone's standards. In organising my first photo shoot with the mag, i managed to piss off three agents, one competing editor and an apparently (from what i've heard) stereotypical diva model. On top of that, BOTH my PCs got burnt this week from TNB's funky power supply (maybe they're trying goddamn durian power or something), spent about RM400 repairing one of them, missed out on my entire gaming weekend due to fixing it, and dealt with rejection from the girl of my dreams (like literally... every night she's there... it's almost irritating).

Today, for the first time in my life, I'm on bail. See, last year, i got caught with an expired road tax. What i didn't know is that the summon wasn't compoundable (i.e. it means you have to appear in front of a court instead of just pay it off). So yesterday, three cops dropped by my house, scaring the crap out of my mom (yes i still live with her... can't get enough of the home-cooked meals).

they gave her a number, and said i was to be ARRESTED for a traffic offence. Today, i went to the station, and the officer was almost too nice, telling me that it was normal and that he'd put in a good word in court.

IN WHAT!?

It was then that he took out an envelope and asked me how much money i brought. I told him RM400. He took it, and then smiled to assure me that he wasn't pocketing it. He made me sign this letter saying that I agreed to come into court the next day (which at time of writing is in about 10 hours). I asked him how much it was likely to cost and he told me to bring about a grand just in case. Honestly, it's about what i expected.

Pretty bad so far right? Well, here's where my optimism kicks in, thank to a bit of divine intervention from someone upstairs. This morning, when i woke up... there was a message from someone who'd heard my voice on the voice guild website (www.thevoiceguild.org). To those who don't know, doing radio commercials is my rather lucrative side income (well, lucrative once i get my first cheque, for a job i did 4 months ago). Anyhows, the guy told me to go to his place (home studio) at about 12.

So i finished up at the police station, sent a few shock smses about my first time on bail, and went to Sri Damansara to the guys house. Within half an hour, i was RM300 richer in cash. I find it quite amazing that my first really expensive crime and my first cash payment for a radio commercial happened on the same day. Even though it doesn't quite balance out, i was walking around with a stupid smile on my face the rest of the day.

It's almost like God reminding me that I used to be an optimist before. That I used to view every day like i did today. Somewhere somehow i've lost that, but today reminded me of the wonders of optimism in even the worst situations.

I hope tomorrow's better.

Nothing like finding out there's a name for your condition

2006-02-24T00:52:00.000+08:00

i have a problem. this problem, which has been amplified in recent months, is trying to maintain interest in anything for an extended period of time.

this includes movies, music, conversation, or just about anything else that you can think of. Say for instance when i'm watching a movie. I think it's a pretty good movie. I laugh cos it's funny. I realise it's funny, I think to myself "hey... that's pretty funny, and that's why I'm laughing"

and then it isn't so funny anymore.

I'm not really sure whether anybody else in the world understands that, but that's what i go through. I always thought it'd been because of my own self-conciousness, which in turn, is related to my own self-esteem.

I mean, that's how i got over it. I find that when i feel better about myself, i stop being self-conscious, and i can truly revel in things like movies, music and conversation.

but today, i met a guy. He's an old acquaintance of mine called Dique, and the reason i met up with him was to discuss him doing my band's music video in CG. Anyhows, as the conversation was progressing, he brought up the problem of bad short term memory.

"i mean like, really bad... i lost a couple of phones by leaving them on the roof of my car while i was trying to find my parking ticket"

I've almost done that about 100 times myself. so i asked him how he deals with it. He says it's so bad that he's actually on meds. Something called Ritalin. I recognised the name as a drug used on kids in america with ADD (attention deficit disorder).

when i was studying there, i was diagnosed with ADD. it was a hyperactive disorder for me. they were wondering why i'd always get into fights after school. Found out, that if we were little angels the whole day, teacher would give us jelly beans at the end of the day. When i got jelly beans into me, i could never sit still, so i'd start play-punching the guy next to me like hey..*dish*...hey...*dish*...hey...*dish*...hey...*dish*...hey...*dish*...hey...*dish*...hey...*dish*

this guy's name was hogan. and he'd punch back, and we'd get into fights.

so this was how i never got sweets or coke (i got sugarless barley) until i was like 15. i always thought that i'd learnt to control it... although in many ways, i'm still a social irritant today.

anyhows, the reason it's called ADD, is exactly because we can't focus on anything too long. Thus my inability to enjoy movies or music for any extended period of time. it was really bad for me for a long period last year, after i got dumped by an ex. first time i've been dumped since high school. so self-esteem down, self-consciousness up. and not knowing what the problem was, i can tell you guys now that i was feeling myself having a nervous breakdown.

i think a nervous breakdown happens when the problems you have in your head don't get any better no matter how hard you try... no matter how much you vent or emote, your head just gets stuck in an endless cycle.

I managed to find a way out of it, by taking measures to help build back my self esteem. I'm privileged in that sense to have a pretty good life overall.. i love my job, the income's decent and so on. I'm a pretty lucky guy, and slowly... i'm starting to be thankful for all the things i have once again. I can only hope that others with nervous breakdowns can be so lucky.

If not, i guess there's always ritalin.

old dog teaches me new tricks

2006-02-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

I have a really old dog called Mikey. he's stinky and not all that good-looking - courtesy of mongrel genes, I guess. He hasn't had all that great a year so far, having been diagnosed with heartworms earlier this year. i'm a bit ashamed to say that its the first time i've ever brought him to the vet in all these years. The bill made up for all those lost years though, clocking in at a good thousand bucks so far.

anyways, the treatment involves putting him on aspirin to thin his blood, and then letting loose an arsenic-derivative via two big jabs on the bum to kill the heartworms. Reason why the blood has to be thinned is because it needs to be fluid enough to expel the heartworm carcasses once they're dead. An altogether impleasant thought for a v-day post, but then hey... my last one wasn't so cheery anyway.

So one of the side-effects of the medication is that the dog is going to get awfully depressed and lethargic. doctor's advice is to keep him in a clean environment (another side effect is swelling and inflamation) and not give him too much activity. So we've kept him out of the garden in a concrete stairway that leads to our house. he doesn't seem to mind since he doesn't have much energy or an appetite these days. All kinda heartbreaking to me.

Anyhow, my mom called me today, and asked me to take him out into the streets for a poo once i got home from work. So when i got home, sure enough, he was lying in the middle of the staircase, eyes half open, hardly budging an inch. in his dish lay a half-eaten piece of bread with kaya that my mom tried to feed him earlier. So i went up, grabbed the leash and came back down.

All of a sudden, his ears perked up, and his tail started wagging for the first time in weeks. Mikey loves his walks, but lately with the new job, I haven't really had the time to take him. Anyhows, i tie him up, and the next thing i know, he's pulling hard at the leash looking for all his favourite pee-stops. halfway through, i stop down for a cigarette. he wants to go further, but i don't want to exert him too much. after giving up, he comes up to me and raises a paw... i pet him, tell him i still love him even though he's smelly and old.

we both kinda cheered each other up (me being alone on v-day), and like a good little doggie, he poos in front of my least favourite neighbour's house before coming back inside.

I think when we're feeling lethargic, and depressed, it's really in ourselves to find the will to go out and enjoy the things we love regardless. And once we've done that, we realise that everything we're feeling is half due to the circumstances around us, and half due to our own pessimistic nature. Or something like that. Or I'm just trying to sound profound.

Anyways, i'm sure his dish should be empty by morning, and I'll have made it past another stupid v-day.

v-day sucks

2006-02-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

yup, you heard it here first. regardless of whether you're with someone, or without, you'll either be spending next month's salary or wish you had someone to spend it on.

"oooh, that's fuckin sour"

well, thing is, I've never (repeat NEVER) had a V-day in the conventional sense of the word before. The date, the dinner, the obligatory kiss (how can something be fun if it's obligatory?). Bleh.

You know what's worse than spending V-day without someone to love?

I'll tell you. Loving someone, and not being able to spend V-day with them. Yup, it's that sort've fucked up holiday. Even I'm affected. again. for the 26th time in my life (i started young).

the worst thing about it, is that it brings out all these hormones, that don't usually exist in real men like Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson, and makes you feel like shit no matter how many times you tell yourself that you don't believe in this stupid occasion.

Yup, rant done. Move along...just another lonely psycho, ma'am... nothing to see here.

Smoking is like the Internet

2006-02-12T18:03:00.000+08:00

I've been coughing up phlegm (tried spelling that three times before it looked right) for a week now. Today, there were a few traces of blood, which brought back memories of my scary scary bout of pseudomonas aeruginosa back in 2001. Luckily, it was only once in the morning. After that, it's just been the normal yellow icky kind. That's supposed to be good, according to this link.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/RespiratoryDisorders/messages/2354.html

Saw some other pretty interesting stuff on that forum. Like one guy said that our capacity to heal our own lungs stops at about 30. That's 3 years away for me. I'm feeling the urge to quit smoking again, but then I think about midnight ciggarettes, and all of a sudden, I feel like having one now.

So then I thought... why not make a Healthy Cigarette? Read this.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/cigarette/history2.html

It's a pretty shocking article. Apparently, some rate the Healthy Cig as the Holy Grail of Tobacco companies, and would give them plenty of ammo to go bad mouthing their competitors, and steal a huge market share.

UNFORTUNATELY... there are such things as lawyers. In short, tobacco companies have long touted the line "smoking isn't bad for you", but now, if they came up with a Healthy Cig, all of a sudden, other lawyers would be like "so you're saying that your other cigs are unhealthy?"

it's all very complicated, but very interesting at the same time.

This brings me to my 2nd subject. Ever since i got my internet connection at home, I've felt my life wasting away. I'd come home from a long day at work, and be like... "ok... let's check my mail and get started on some Splinter Cell!"

and i end up spending four hours, surfing up stuff like the nonsense you've just read. It's just addictive the amount of information and entertainment here - and it's mostly free (yes, even porn!)! You know how those health warnings on ciggie packs overseas go like "each Cigarrette reduces your life by five minutes"? how about this...

"each stupid blog entry reduces your life by five minutes"

wow... that's a fantastic endorsement to keep coming to this blog. whoever is reading it.

Why blog?

2006-02-12T05:07:00.000+08:00

I've come to realise that there are two types of bloggers in this world.

A. those who want to be recognised
B. those that don't

It's pretty funny that I find myself with one foot in each blog bucket, because while I don't really feel the need for more recognition than I already have, I have these feelings inside me that are really hard to keep to myself.

It is with this intention that I throw the metaphorical message in a bottle into the vast ocean of ones and zeroes. I don't really care if the person who reads this knows who I am or not, but I hope to make a connection with you.

Connection.

It's funny, because this is something that happens less and less as we grow older. Sometimes I like to reminisce about days when we were kids and we could just play with any other kid and not worry about things like acceptance, respect, pity, love, lust, or quality of conversation.

And yet sometimes it seems so implausible. So implausible that sometimes even I don't believe that I was ever like that. Life throws so many things at you that sometimes its hard to remember the post-it notes that were you, and the ones that someone else stuck on.

Blogging to me shall be like a diary. Consider this my most honest post ever. Because it is the first, and no one knows about it yet. Once people do, I'll start having to worry about things like acceptance, respect, pity, love, lust, and quality of conversation.

For now, the only thing I worry about is me. Alot.

Hello everyone.