My rant to no one

I consider myself to be a pretty good mind-manager. Not in the sense of how to organise my appointments and my time, but more to get over the little setbacks in life and enjoy it for what it is. But for once, I'm faced with a bit of a dilemma. And it starts the way most dilemma stories do.

There's this girl. She's a friend of the family that I used to have a massive crush on when I was in my early teens. I used to look forward to our family trips just because of her. She had a boyfriend back then. Gangster apparently.

Shortly after I got back from Melbourne, I bumped into her at a PC Fair looking for the Hitz.fm Fugitive. She'd grown up nicely... still just as pretty and with a very good head on her shoulders. I took her for a Japanese dinner a coupla weeks after that, and shortly fell all over again. At the time, she had just gotten together with a new boyfriend.

Bad timing. Story of my life. Anyhows, I have a big confession that only my closest friends know about. I used to refer to her as The One. In fact, most of my friends have gotten so used to hearing it that they use it to her too. I once famously said to a friend of mine that if I could, I'd marry her on the spot. This carried on for a good number of years, through three girlfriends on my side, and the same old guy on hers.

He was her One. Normally, I'd hold out hope for more than a coupla years, but these two were so damned compatible and close that it was hard not to believe a little in it yourself. In fact, he used to ask me to go to cybercafes with him to play CS. How can you hate him, damnit?

So eventually, I gave up. I can't even remember exactly when it happened, but it was so gradual that I didn't notice it for a few months. Then I met GoMD and The One was pushed back for a while. There was even an interesting scenario where GoMD and I were hanging out in a park late at night and I saw The One's car pass by, and I didn't worry. That was when I sorta realised how far it went with GoMD.

But of course now, as you know, GoMD has gone her own way. And guess what? The One just broke up. She calls me up, crying one night, and I head straight over to her house. Here's a tasty tidbit from the conversation. First part is her.

"Sucks right, when you think someone's The One, but they don't think the same of you?"

"Yea."

"Have you ever had a One?"

Oh boy. I think I've had two now. But the funny thing is that my mind was so good at getting over The One that I now find it hard to get back under, or to fall again. I was confused for a good while. It threw me into a funk for a few days, cursing myself for bad timing. Again.

Then I realised that i've lost the ability to let things happen naturally. I premeditate so much these days that it's almost crazy. One of my close friends recently told me that he's seeing this new girl that when he goes out with her he "knows he's gonna have a great time".

I started thinking about the last time I felt like that. It's been a long while. So I figured The One's not going to rush back into the dating game. She's got too strong a head on her shoulders for that. I figured I could learn a thing or two from her.

Let's just see how it goes.